7:55 PM
While I lament at times about why I wasn't "proactive" with the person I like, but times like these, I realised that my subconscious mind knows better.
Days like these, makes me glad that someone else is not embroiled on the family mess.
Hates it when people "humblebrag" about their lives and then reality is a whole different story. Oh wells, isn't this much like everyone's #storyoftheirlives, just wanna look good on social media.
It's ok. Gillian needs to learn to discern what is real and not, accusatory and negative, truth vs lies. Hates it when things happen and a whole bunch of stuff just floods the brain.
No worries, just letting off steam.
12:48 PM
I think I am good at shooting myself in the foot. the things that I secretly ask for most of the time when I'm younger- it's really like "seriously, Gillian?! What on earth were you thinking about?"
Attention seeking, I suppose. Or rather, as curious as a cat.
And when it happens, all I can say is "你自找的".
So anyway, a good God allow bad things to happen because of the sinful nature of Man.
And then you find a purpose for it at times, like a #beentheredonethat thing. #imasurvivor, kind of stuff. Bringing comfort to people that #youareneveralone, #youneverwalkalone
It's strange how all memories/ emotions came flooding back yesterday in church even as Ps Joey was closing the service. Like raw emotions just whoosh. SO not prepared/ caught off guard sia. Hur hur.
I know that I needed to stand up/ speak up for a particular student in my class ever since I knew of what he has been through. But I've been seriously pushing it off, with thoughts that my principal, and his class teacher can handle that...
But with that encounter yesterday, I know full well that my past has never left me, and that it has impacted my whole being that perhaps could never recover fully and that it will affect him the same way (or even more) as it did to me if that issue is not addressed.
I can do this. It's tough, but I'm gonna push through.