走过来的一点一滴。

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Welcome to www.gillie-craze.blogspot.com.

This is just a ranting place and a platform for Gillian to express unspoken thoughts.

If you happen to feel offended, you have the right to ignore it by clicking the 'back' button or that small red box with the 'X' in it or u can feel free to confront me.

GiLLiE aka gillian;
Clueless about the world; and not knowing where she would go from here; yet firmly believing that God is in control. She wants to tell the world about JESUS, the man who came to transform her world.

Prompted by

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
(James 1:13-14)

For we wrestle, not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
(Ephesians 6:4)

And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.
(Matthew 4:19; Mark 1:17)

Wishes for

a (semi-) DSLR
some time for herself and friends
a closer walk with Him
musical talents so that i can bless Him and the people around me when i worship the King
art and craft materials
a passion that will never die

4:30 PM

Yet another long hiatus.

Took time off from work today, after having a real bad diarrohoea in the wee hours and just taking time trying to clear the stuff on my laptop since it's been having a low disk space since God-knows-how-long-it- was..

And yet, even though all this time, i felt a nagging thought at the back of my head: come back to Me.

I guess, even with all these while, I've been running away from God with all the things that I don't want to face. It's been there, for so long, like a skeleton in the closet.

Maybe you must be wondering why is this even an issue? Like, surely everyone must have a deep dark secret that only they themselves find comfort in.

Yet, Isa 53:3- 5 says:

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of suffering who knew what sickness was.
He was like one people turned away from;
He was despised, and we didn't value Him.
Yet He Himself bore our sicknesses,
and He carried our pains;
but we in turn regarded Him stricken,
struck down by God, and afflicted.
But He was pierced because of our transgressions,
crushed because of our iniquities;
punishment for our peace was on Him,
and we are healed by His wounds.

If, according to these verses that God said that He has sent a replacement for our transgressions and iniquities (aka sin and guilt) and by that, it also leads us to healing, then why aren't I desiring it?

The danger of not wanting to receive this healing could be due to pride, guilt emotions, self pity and so on and so forth.. which i do admit that there are indeed all of those in me (yes, i'm still human on the other end of the computer). Which then the question lies ahead of me, which do i desire more? being comfortable in my own comfort zone or being glued to God (like what ps victor shared yesterday)? being stuck in the rut or do i want to soar on eagles' wings?