anyway, for the last 2 weeks, it was great!! haha. (tho i really procrastinated like siao for my presentation...)

learnt a song on the guitar, 'give them all' (super old song.. heh), and have been frantically knitting a project for the last few nights. yup. so cool right? haha. im gonna do that for my entire hols- go learn sth.

anyway, i was about to sew my knitted pieces then i realised i lost my needles! crap. how wonderful can it be?

ya. i've got less than 24 hrs to finish sewing it up and less than 72 hours for my presentation... ouch.

and yes. im gg KOREA like in another 9 days! haha. but it's not a shopping trip kayys? so i dunno if i can get all that stuff for victoria and jocelyn (cos victoria's gonna give me a LOOOOOOOONGGGGGG list of things to buy X2) and also get stuff for cell grp, fangling and mabel and at the same time getting enough things for myself too.

and im not sure if mom's extending the trip by one more day... and i wanna visit the church there!!!

kayys, off to get my needles. =) and oh! looking forward to borrow daryl's bigger crumpler!! yay. cos i wanna try to see if i should to 'upsize' krumps, cos krumps just can't close with all my things now...

P.S krumps is my crumpler's name. =) and victoria prefers to be called victoria now. so pls dun call her vicky.


I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed. I have the Holy SpiritPower. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I've preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until He returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear for "I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.." (Romans 1:16)


this was the prayer screened at the MI graduation ceremony and it was the challenge left by the people who had completed the race. =) and my friend post it at his blog, which i find it timely.

when will gillian be finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals? and to really live out being a gillie?


a long while.. since being here.

not that i haven't been blogging, but just that it's halfway done, it nevers gets thru to be posted.

cos i really don't know how to use words to get the situation across. like i think like only victoria, jocelyn, jennifer (my discipler) would understand. the people who kinda know my situation. yeah.

in and out, out and in. in a way i have been drifting and also being the master of my own life instead of God.

yups. im on a rollercoaster ride again.


i firmly believe that God is still in control.

even tho i may despair at times or bee too overly focused my problems instead of Him, but when i learn to step back and put things into back into perspective, i find that i was being too prideful to not depend on Him.

the world says that u should protect yourself because no one's gonna protect you, but that was exactly what was hindering me from my Lover. He said, 'come on, Gillian, I will be your Protector, your shiny Knight in white. why do you still arm yourself? you don't trust that I'll protect you?"

just as how i've broke His heart, He broke mine so that He could heal my insecurities. I've always tried to put myself into simon peter's shoes and let Jesus ask me "Simon, son of Jonas, do you love me more than these?" (in my case, He will call me Gillian la.. and yours, pls change it accordingly)

i simply couldn't see how Simon Peter could be so broken over that question that Jesus asked 3 times, until i experienced it for myself. "Gillian, do you love me more than everything?" "Gillian, do you love me?" "Gillian, do you love me?"

Something just broke within me which led me to realise that even when times that i felt that i couldn't love Him, i couldn't move myself away from Him, but instead, i found myself moving closer. Closer and closer, into His embrace, into this peace, when all around me are howling winds and storms.

A promise, to be with me all the time. A promise, that He would be my shiny Knight in white. A promise, that He'll never leave nor forsake me, even in my darkest moments. Because He was there during Mankind's darkest hour.

yup. because of His faithfulness, that's why im able to stand here today. and tho i may not be a good example of what Christ is, i know that this is not the final product.

God, this desire has been ignited. Please dun let it die.

i don't know about you, maybe u felt that all this only happens in fairy tales and fairy tales dun happen in real life but as i type this, i really wanna share that there was this sense of assurance that i felt and really, 我被神感动了。祂的大爱，触摸我，使我不仅地赞颂祂。