走过来的一点一滴。

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Welcome to www.gillie-craze.blogspot.com.

This is just a ranting place and a platform for Gillian to express unspoken thoughts.

If you happen to feel offended, you have the right to ignore it by clicking the 'back' button or that small red box with the 'X' in it or u can feel free to confront me.

GiLLiE aka gillian;
Clueless about the world; and not knowing where she would go from here; yet firmly believing that God is in control. She wants to tell the world about JESUS, the man who came to transform her world.

Prompted by

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
(James 1:13-14)

For we wrestle, not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
(Ephesians 6:4)

And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.
(Matthew 4:19; Mark 1:17)

11:11 PM

okay, quick update...

in a way home alone. and im supposed to be slping, im supposed to thank God for alot of things. im supposed to blog about work.

mm. should i update?

just wanna say, iIM LOOKING FORWARD TO CHURCH CAMP. okayys. cos a break from work. and also really to hear from God. and maybe be inspired to be more discliplined.

yup. hope to have brunch with fang on sat and also maybe attend service with her too. =p

okayys. i really need to zzz. bye.

11:30 PM

ups and downs.

learning to hold on to just the necessary things only.

at the end of the day, wad matters the most? money, glamour, friends, family, knowing your purpose, knowing God, fame, comfort zone?

talking to vicky makes me think, what have i been doing all these while... and really in a way encouraging me to move out of my comfort zone.

mm...really, am i satisfied with where i am today? am i satisfied just being whacked up down left right center by my circumstances?

a time for everything. a time to take back what is rightfully mine.

a time to conquer the Pronised Land.

tired, but i will press on.

; 2 months 2 weeks before end of attachment.

6:22 AM

feels like im falling sick. rawr. God, i dun wanna be sick during church camp.

anyway, i felt that i had a breakthrough, or at least i can see it coming. like over the last few days, it was a dramatic ride, gosh, u'll nv believe that that's the gillian u know.

and as wad vicky would have said, 'I know that. heh'.

ya. praise God has given her this gift of knowing things that are happening in ppl's life in her spirit.

yup. felt happy once again to go work. haha. like after all that stuff i've been thru, at least i think that i can embrace the things that God has thrown in my life.

and yes, for the past month or so, vicky has been emphasizing on the word EMBRACE to me, but just that i can't see any light to it.

so happy. haha. it's an emotion i've lost touch for quite awhile.

and i can't wait to see fang again!! yay. =)

6:13 AM

wad to say?

im trying to be nice and be cool about everything, but at the rate im going, im only forsee myself being an emotional wreckage.

like why can't ppl just be nice to one another and stop being so calculative? why can't they just stop all the crap about politics and all.

like cracking lewd jokes to all the male colleagues jut to get you way.. what? it just makes u look like a spinster desperate for a man and just bringing urself down to a whore level.

and making false accusations about all ur employees in front of other ppl and sowing dischord. and calling urself a 'righteous man' and a 'christian'. please stop blaspheming. you just make me wanna puke. like wad the rest said. u really shouldn't be in this line. go be a writer since u like to tell so much stories and also create funny stories to deceive ppl.

yes, vicky has been telling me to EMBRACE. and of course, all the verses comes to my mind. like love the sinner, but hate the sin and all. well, yeah.

point is, i really feel like the sheep who is lead to her shearers. like being stabbed so many times yet i dun have a chance to fend myself, nor do i noe when the knives are coming down.

like every day's a mental anguish for me. even as i type, the silent tears that has been swallowed into me for the last few months just can't help but flow out.

im already trying my best; to be pure and really be the sheep amongst the wolves.

and learning to embrace; it's really a proposition that sounds really crazy but in a way, it's the only way.

argh.

anyway, thanks fang and mabel who posted encouraging stuff on my tagboard, and also jocelyn and daryl, who really know the pain of working there and also well, the ex-colleagues, who really made the 1st 2 months enjoyable.