i wonder how i should deal wih someone who always lie about things to you. and the thing is that that person whom you really wish to hate and murder is ur dad.

'honour ur father and ur mother' . rawr. actually i dun really care if i will live long on this earth by honouring them. but that's not the point.

point is, even if u are someone's parent, u should not be stealing (dfn of stealing: taking one's things without permission) ur kid's things then lie about it and then getting other ppl (who happens to be ur mum) to lie with u and then making the kid look like some lunatic kicking up a fuss and throwing tandrums in front of everyone (who happens to be the kid's sister and cousin)

what kind of values are u showing?!

even if u are the parent, it doesn't give u the right and authority to do that. if u can do that to ur kid, u can do that to anyone else and i tell you, the kid is damn pissed and will seriously hate u forever and dun start wondering why the kid doesn't respect u because u didn't respect them in the first place.


gillian is still struggling on doing homework... sigh.

okayys, yeah, i noe it's not good to harp upon that, like consistancy is something that im always struggling with.

anyways, gillian is so sad that she most prob (like 95%) will not be able to go for church camp in june. but at least im glad that i don't get to miss christmas and chinese new year. =D

so yup. if i can go for church camp, it would be really God's work. =)

yep. and gillian cannot always think of e-on. zzz.


sigh. it's a bz week and im tired.

all flu-ey and also bogged down wit projects. argh. and the thing is that i cannot understand why some ppl like dear mr justin i-forgot-wad's-his-sirname always come ka chiao me one lors.

okays. actually need too start doing work already, but here to take a breather.


okays. just a quick update, since i've got quite alot of things to do.

sat: can! run and yeah, i can't believe that i ran. zzz. and we played polar bear after that as a poly zone, quite funny and then went over to xueming's place for his 21st bd party. wheee! his place's super cool cos it's like those ancestral homes with the main hall hung with his ancestors potraits, dining hall and kitchen and there's like 3 families staying tgt too.

yest: came down with high fever (think i overworked myself+ also was like already feeling sick too) so left after lunch to rest.

and today, still resting.. lol


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC_lld_vUCY

can't seem to embed this, but anyway, it's a video that vicky sent me and it's called His strength is perfect. which is very appropriate for me in a sense that it once again reminded me that we are made perfect in Him even though we may be weak and i don't have to go about in my own strength.

yup. and actually wanted to blog about other stuff also, but then i also dun really feel like blogging abt them too.


我怎么能没有你？ How could I live without You?
失去你的爱， How would I survive,
我怎么活？ Without Your love,
我怎么过？ Without Your touch？
唯有你医治我 You're the One that heals me
洁净我心 And cleanses my heart
你解放我 And sets me free

主我来到你面前 Now I come right before You
双手高举敬拜 With my hands lifted up
主我屈膝降伏 With my heart humbly bowed
在你宝贵十架 At Your work on the cross
在你上悬挂 As You hung there and die
为我付出代价 You were paying the price
为我死，为我死 For my life, For my life

你的爱远比天还要高For Your love is higher than the heavens
比海洋更深 Deeper than the seas
主我这一生只要你 And all I want is You in my life
没有人能满足我的心No one else can satisfy my soul
给我这感觉 Can make me feel this way
惟有你主，惟有你主Only You Lord, only You

feels kinda lost. like it's only 6 jan and the 2nd day of school. and i feel so overwhelmed.

add onns//

i feel super hypocrite right now. argh. cos i noe i sometimes i really don't mean what i say or do at the same time.

sigh. okays. and i noe im running away from reality and hardships and i noe what i want, just that i am weary and tired of being the one who made the first move. okays. wrong. is i am unwilling to budge out of my comfort zone and im using the excuse of im falling sick to not want to talk to him and i noe.

God, i really need courage, strength, wisdom, humility and i think most importantly, You. i really do.


ok. the 888th post. hmmm... wonder what it would be like... haha.

anyway, today was the I&E event/ charity bazaar and feeling abit tired cos i had to go talk to alot of ppl and all. and my knees hurt like crap after standing for at least 7 hours non stop.

glad that people enjoyed themselves (as far as i noe and hope) there like the en community service ppl who had a great time singing/ playing songs/ going round asking for donations and then just talked to them.. and the W.A.D club ppl- bee lian, donovan and annie who were there to promote the 'ba kua' for fundraising and also to recruite ppl for ROMP!! yay.

yup. and the very strange thing was that me and ken wore the same shirt la... so omgoodness. haha. oh wells. speaking of which, i was like zzz when i couldn't find my white shirt yesterday (i felt something was so wrong and i should have tried finding it more carefully when i wore my yellow tee, but couldn't cos i was running late for LTS) and e-on was wearing white la!! nvm.

yup. now quite shag and like i really need to slp. guess im falling sick.


argh. back to the world of sch again. okays. quite sian, esp when my event is tomorrow. zzz.

anyway, speaking of the new year, i feel quite sian all of a sudden. like i lost interest in the things that is to come. guess cos it's really dying to the flesh. sigh.

some things that i need to do by this week that are not sch related:
- prep. dg
- set my goals and targets for the year
- think how and what to talk to e-on
- think how to start a good conversation with ed (eh, looks like i really dunno how to talk to ppl sia)
- and more to come.

God, i feel that im so not ready.


deleted the last post cos it didn't make much sense to people anyway. yup. it's like gibberish or simply no link to most ppl, maybe with the exception of one or 2.

okayys. anyway, making sense of the last post is that i noe im supposed to be nicer to e-on (like talk to him like the way i talk to some other brothers in church), but then i've been runnng away from him and God convicted me that i really should treat him better and let things flow naturally and stop running away from the things that is to come.

but i've been giving myself a thousand and one reasons not to do so. like i need to confirm plus chop and gurantee that this is indeed what God wants and etc. and thus gillian need to overcome this HUGE barrier of hers and learn how to talk normally to him.

and like what ps foo said, this year is gonna be a year of INCREASE and hence, great things are gonna happen when i learn how to step out in faith.

yup. =)


it was 12am.

and all the fireworks were shooting away at a distance. but, for all it's granduer, it meant nothing.

walking away from the crowds and i lifted my head to the heavens, wondering if there could be something else that could usher in into 2009 in my heart.

and there i saw it.

it was dim at first, but as my eyes got accustomed to the darkness, i saw stars! shy as they may, but as i looked intently, they seemed to strip off from their shyness and and out of the clouds, they shone brightly.

never had i seen such beauty for a long long time, even then, this display was more magnificent than anything that i saw before. it was quiet, never wanting to gain attention and yet, it was there.

yes, the jewels of the sky. they were just so pretty and it took away my breath when i remembered these are what God had in mind when He flung them into the universe. They were meant for us.

US! but sadly, we have forgotten all about them. just like nature, we have lost sight of the beauty that God created just for us. He could have created adam and eve before He created everything else so that they could remember that it was God who created everything, but no! He created adam and eve last so that they could enjoy this world just as it is- to live in the comfort and beauty of eden.

and alas, that beauty was short lived- i had to go home. but there and then, i caught a glimsp of His glory and peace within that array of beauty.