gillian has not done much blogging recently. =/ and there's quite a fair bit of updating to be done. (but i wll da shi hua xiao, xiao shi hua wu.)

so far it has been pretty crazy, with days whizzing by and datelines and exams pressing near. and gillian has been sick (again). argh. (i think i noe the reason why, but then i shall not say out)

yea, and i have not done much musings either. like all these while it has just been going thru the whole motion pretty much brainlessly.

yeah anyway, i just realised that i've been very vey close to someone recently and i really wonder if im using that person to substitute him. argh.

like i noe that there's no emotions involved in anyway now, but somehow i noe i've let him down and i noe that that there is nothing that i can do to salvage the situation. sigh sigh.

okays. gillian needs to go study. haha. (that was a random thought)


i think i've changed like alot this week. it's really crazy. or maybe the stress is getting to me. argh!!!

like i find myself more bitchy about things and like omgoodness, i really cannot figure out why i do certain things that is so not gillian of like a few months ago.

and like losing my spects which gives me the 'rightful' excuse to get a pair of permanent contact lens (since i cannot really decide on the frame that i want to wear cos some days the themes may clash and u noe, that kind of things) and also like buying alot of 'luxuaries' that i buy it during my retail therapy, like unecessary art stuff for project, like resource books that i will never actually read, and my sticky photo album as a diary (u stick bits and pieces of paper or things in it), and i really dunno why i will also think of buying/ doing more things.

yeah, like everyone's been telling me that my entries are like... ~.~ (emo? or maybe really showing im on an emotional roller coaster ride.) and really, like this sem my life has been crap, and i dunno what exactly i have been doing/ have done.

like this whole term has been a nightmare.

i feel like im cracking soon. sighs. guess i will have to learn to face it independently if i really really want to go overseas for both immersion programme and furthering of my studies when i graduate.

You came into my life one very special day
You came into my life to show me a special way
You say You'll never depart
For that is why I sing
I just came to praise the Lord.

Even though I know that You'll never depart,
But why do i feel otherwise?
Have I forsaken the love,
Our precious love?

My love, have I left You in the wilderness
Have I left you to find other lovers;
Lovers who could only sastisfy for yet another fleeting moment?
Alas, I was indeed found guilty of it

My Lord, forgive me
Bring me into the place that was meant
for the both of us.
Bring me, I ask of You, to just whisk me away
from the dark and miry clay and into the grandeur of Your Holiness

Teach unto me a heart like Yours
To love as You love Your Father and as You loved us
Hear hear, the cry of your child.




went to see the doctor for the 3rd time (and hopefuly the last one too) and then the doctor determined that the reason why the cough and and the throat refused to heal even after antibiotics.

well...it is all thanks to...*drumrolls*...the sensitve nose!!! (and she was like, you noe, u are in the wrong course...and all that fungal spores and pollen irritating my nose...and no aircon room and also no running in an airconed gym -.-)

blearghx. and all these while we have been looking at the symptoms as the root cause.

yay. now noe-ing the root cause, the revenge of fried food is here!!! haha. i really cannot imagine how i actually survived the last 3 weeks okay...

haha. and im in like bt panjang library for the past 1 hr or so. oh wells.


#1 if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
er...ignore him, and see what reason he give me?

#2 if you had 3 wishes, what will that be?
er, to see ppl knowing the truth about life, to walk close to God, and maybe more wishes. (haha)

#3 what will your dream wedding to be like?
like what fang say lors, with the person by my side. wedding ceremony can be very simple as having it at the void deck also dun care.

#4 are you afraid of what lies ahead of you?
hmmm. no, cos i noe He is right there with me.

#5 what's your ideal lover like?
like the One who gave up His life for us.

#6 which is more blessed? loving someone or being loved by someone?
both are blessed.

#7 how long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
hmmmm. hu is that person?

#8 if the person you sercetly like is already attached, what would you do?
thank God that that person is not the one?

#9 is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
yes. read previous posts.

#10 have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
duh. piangs, it was a torture.

#11 who are currently important people in your life?
God, friends, maybe family?

#12 have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't?
yeah.

#13 what's the ideal prefect relationship to you?
if in a bgr/ marriage go read the bible where it says: Husbands love their wifes and wifes, submit to their husbands. i think it's really a perfect relationship cos as a woman, i want my XYZ to love me and he must be someone whom i can depend on and some one that i can submit to becos i know that he has my best interests cos he loves me. and from a guy's view, i would definitely want my girl to respect me and also dun put down my pride and ego.

#14 what kind of the person do you think the one who tagged you is?
my current best friend in school, so wad ya think?

#15 what's the first thing you do every morning?
open my eyes.. take the clock beside my bed and force myself out of bed.

#16 during raining day, would you like a guy to walk with you or to shelter you?
erm...if he has a brolly, of cos shelter la!! then wad? he under brolly then i walk in the rain meh?and u cannot expect him to shelter u when he doesn't have a brolly, unless he want to use himself to shelter u...which i think might as well take a slow stroll in the rain, more romantic ba.

#17 if you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
er...wait pray and see. most prob is will choose none. true love will not accomodate another person (other than Jesus)

#18 what type of friends do you like?
errm, can get along well ba.

#19 do you often wish that there is something you could change?
got la, but hey! time lost cannot be retrived, so no point lamenting.

#20 what type of friends do you dislike?
u will noe when u pissed me off real bad.

#21 what would you notice about people of different gender?
attitude, the way they carry themselves? and intellect.


soething that i got off the YF mailing list and thought it's really quite thought provoking.

Why Can't I Just Be a Good Person?
Michael Ramsden

"People are basically good," writes one poet. "It is only their behavior that lets them down."

It is remarkable to think there are many today who believe they are good enough to get into heaven. Perhaps there is so much bad news about others that they conclude by comparison they are superior, and thus, deserving of a place in eternity. But then it is even more remarkable that when Christians claim they know they are going to heaven, they are regarded as being conceited, boastful, and arrogant. People immediately ask: How can they think that they are better than everyone else?

The fact that the same person can think of himself as superior to others, while at the same time criticizing Christians for arrogance, underlines one of the effects of living in a postmodern world. Though the contradiction is frustrating, Christians need to be able to respond coherently to the questions at hand: Why can't I just be a good person? Isn't it unfair of God to say that you can't get into heaven unless you believe in Him, even though you have been a good person? Who does He think He is?

Jesus was once asked a similar question by a group of inquirers: "What must we do to do the works God requires?" (John 6:28). Interestingly, the question was posed in plural form; it seems they were looking for a list of good things to do. But Jesus replied in the singular, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent" (6:29).

Of course, in the minds of those who feel they have lived a good life, Christ's answer will not go unchallenged. What makes belief so special? Surely what we do is far more important than what we believe. How can a good person, who is not a Christian, be denied access on the basis of belief?

The difficulty here lies in the assumption that is being made in each of these questions--namely, that there is such a thing as a good person. Jesus again offers further clarification in the form of question and answer. He was once asked, "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" (Luke 18:18). The theory of the questioner was clear: Jesus is a good person; good people go to heaven, so what must I do to be in the same group? But Jesus's reply was surprising. "Why do you call me good?" he asked (18:19). He then answered his own question: "No one is good--except God alone."

The simple truth is that the issue is not about good people not getting into heaven. Alas, the problem is much worse! Jesus seems to define goodness in terms of being like God, and on that basis there are no good people anywhere. Thus, the real question is not about who is good enough to get in to heaven.

The real question is how God makes it possible for anyone to get in at all.
The answer is that we need to be forgiven, and that forgiveness is won for us through the Cross.(1)

In fact, this is precisely why the Gospel is called Good News, and why we do well to declare it. The good news is that getting into heaven is first and foremost about forgiveness. The Christian testimony is, in fact, far from arrogant! Christians can be sure that they are going to heaven, not because they are good, but because they have received forgiveness by believing in Christ.

In other words, if we will trust in and rely on Jesus--his promises, his person, his life, death, and resurrection--we can be sure that we are saved. Christians are not good people because they live morally superior lives to everyone else. They have been made "good" in God's eyes because Christ has made forgiveness possible--because Christ has extended his own righteousness to those who will believe.

Good people will certainly go to heaven. However, the path to goodness lies not in religious observances or respectable acts, but in the forgiveness of a good God, given to us through the Cross of Christ.

Michael Ramsden is European director of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in the United Kingdom.


regarding the last post, i think it's really just my feelings playing tricks on me again. sigh. see la, even my feelings cheat me.

anyway,was super duper pissed cos my dad anyhow touched her plants and he threw gillian the plant away. and so gillian the human was super upset about it. and then she got very fed up and then somehow she lost her spects after that.

dumb hors??

anyway, now surviving on one contact lens. and vision is now blurred.

lol. oh wells.

add onns//

anyway, she bought the other side at the co-op optical shop and anyway, she has already decided to go perm on contact lens cos it's really irritating without spects, and she has already went ahead with getting the hard lens.

and so eye check---> short sightedness degree no change but astig degree went up!! wah. super sian.

haha.

anyway, didn't just want to update only about the contact lens.

kenichi was like so sweet today la.. haha.

doing what every gentleman would do, he insisted that he should open the door for me (and giving me a thousand and one reasons why i should let him do it because his mom waits for him to open the door. fine, i decided to let him have his way in the end cos he was so sincere about opening the door for me) and also trying to pay for his "special remedy" of orange juice and starfruit juice from cheers after he heard me coughing real bad after 2 weeks in class (darn, the cheers auntie must have thought we're a couple now, but seriously, no one pays for a group mate that u barely know for 5 weeks la).

okay. the 'prescription' was like -.- to me, cos i have nv drunk orange juice (i ate my first orange a few months back with jasmine) nor eaten/ drunk starfruit juice in my entire life. (haha, go ahead and be amused. and btw, im not joking) and he was there laughing at my reaction when i slowly drank that bottle of orange juice in class. (starfruit one is like only an eighth drunk and seriously, i wonder if my cough mixture is the concentrated star fruit juice now)

yeah. next week's presentation week already, so i guess, that will be like the last time that we'll see each other in class (unless i crash his lecture again, but no thanks; it's so boring.) yep.


felt super emo and tired (emotionally) just now as i came back from HCC.

like there is this sense that im trying too hard.

i dun know if my feeling are playing tricks on me, but i guess...he was the only person who made me experience so much emotions.

anyway, he won't be reading this blog until much later or never anymore...but it doesn't bother me anymore, even tho i wished that he would learn to read signs better.

oh wells. i must learn to stop deluding myself.

i have already tried my best, and i must learn how to leave it to God.

okay, enough of the topic.

gillian's still sick and this time it seems to be really jialat.

like she finished all the medication, yet she still have a very bad sore throat and it seems to be spreading to like the underside of her tongue. so for the week end, u won't hear much of her voice. and she's starting to get a runny nose. yuck.


Ode to the Nice Girls
This rant was written because a nice girl finally snapped.

I've read the tribute to the nice guys; this is my response.
This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

Sometimes the nice girl gets sick of waiting


"你变了."

yeah. shocking statement of the week.

that was wad fang said to me today. and i guess, it was a shock after all. like maybe it's just more that just not being myself for the past 3 weeks (excluding the last 7/ 8 days, cos im sick and whatever i do, like being very 'sad' and 'tired', is under the influence of medication.)

okays. i guess, other than being very oblivious towards sch stuff and more forgetful in general, i really cannot think what other ways have i changed.

okays. the above things mentioned are bad as they sound already.

like seriously, my head hurts when i try to think anything now, but still it looks like i need to figure out wad's going on that made fang says that i've changed.



you once said that you'll be my mirror, reflecting the way how i treat you; but now, you just seem out of my reach and no matter how hard i try, i seemed to be talking to the empty space.

you once said you'll be my mentor, guiding me along as we walk through the poly years; but look, strangers as we are now.

have you forgotten, have you forsaken the friendship that was so fraigilely created over the past one and a half years over some misunderstandings and trival things?

talk to me; i may not be aware over the issues that you are brooding over and even if u want to leave the broken pieces as they are right now, i hope you will let me know.


after a week, gillian's still sick. like abit flu-ey, if u can call that. haha.

yeah. finished my PM project but i still need to prepare DG and also prep myself for the clicking of slides at PDOP! wah...me v v de stress. like first time doing in np and then it's for a big event. =p

yeah.

gillian wish that things could just slow down, even for a moment.

how ironic.

in the 'good old days' of secondary sch, gillian so wished that time could just be quick. and now she wants things to just slow down.

haha.

ren jiu shi zhe yang, always wishing for the impossible.


1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321


Now, take a look at this...


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

got this off an email. quite cool haha.but i still dont like math :)

gillian got this off jasmine's blog and the comments resonate gillian's sentiments.


if i diao/ tao/ bo hue/ignore u for the last few/ upcoming days hors, it's really because my throat's painful and my voice became deep and sexy with a tinge of zhao xia (off key). haha.

i noe i just waved to ppl and they like ?? until i explained that my voice is like gone and i can't talk. nevertheless...i think i still talk alot. haha. that's why my voice goyak so fast after talking to chongmian and jas on fri night.

so after rehearsal, i decided to head down to the doc's cos jeremy advised me to stay at home and rest since i really almost cannot talk at all to grab the antibiotics and some other medication that he didn't give me the other time.

headed down to the market and ordered yong tau foo then i saw yee song (if u dunno, he's my 'long lost' nursery/ kindergarden classmate whom i saw on the 1st day in ngee ann when i was a freshie.) having a late lunch too after helping out at his parents' shop. haha. just waved and sat somewhere else even tho he was alone cos i really cannot talk at all then very odd not to catch up also.

anyway, i think my throat is less swollen and my voice is much better now, thanks to the antibiotics, but still need to rest alot...so i hope i can talk less and listen more for the time being.


sometimes, i just dunno what to do. to really just turn cold or to continue to try talking to you.

sigh.

i just wish none of all these had happened.

maybe it is an attack from satan, to make our friendship turn so sour. but then again, i know i cannot entirely blame him, cos my quick temperedness plays a part in it too.

oh wells.

anyway, throat's more swollen now, comparing to this morning and it's really killing my urge to talk even tho i have alot of things to say.

argh.


fell sick after tues' biochem pract cos of an allergy to the fungi that was growing with our seeds.

blearghx.

and waited to see the doctor for almost an full hour just to consult him for 5 mins. sigh.

and by the time i reached sch, bio chem lecture was already over, so just nua-ed at crusade room until LM started. and there was doing the slides for the poly day of prayer and getting yao jie to transfer some of his songs to me and also to troubleshoot my windows media player. =p

and then, at LM, melvin was wearing the same colour top as me again! like sheesh but good thing was that i was wearing my light pink skinnies. and somehow, the world seem to noe abt fri's thing. argh.

oh wells. just a coincidence. haha.

anyway, can't wait to catch up with cm and jas later!! yay yay.


to the lucky ppl who are having hols today, i have nth for u!! haha. oh wells.

the weekend was quite okay, like spending quite a far bit of time with the cell ppl during youth service, cell, and the sunday morn and evening service.

yeah. and bible study classes have started too. was placed in foundation 1 class, and to me it felt like some kind of joke at first, like im teaching basics in dg, and now im learning them for bible class. and somemore u cannot miss more than 4 lessons and u will get debarred and there are tests, exams and class participitation marks too.

sheesh. but i guess God wants me to go back to basics cos it's important!!!

yeah yeah.

if i mentioned to you that i was very upset with someone last week, take heart that i wasn't even thinking about thse matters for the last 2 days and maybe i have turned cold towards the person already.

yeah. i noe it's bad, but i guess, it's a form of self protection. i cannot afford to let that person affect my life to the point that i cannot do anything. i nearly been to that state and i really cannot let myself be moping around and waste my life like that.


i so dun believe how spot on i can get in terms of dressing.

like me and melvin were wearing yellow top and jeans. yeah. u get what i mean.

how i wish i can be spot on in guessing ppl's thoughts like the way i am for dressing, so that i will always do the right things at the right time and i will never be pissed off with anyone.

yeah, i noe it's coincidental that i (used to)always wear the same things/ colour as my cousin, jasmine, sandra, fang, ed, and today, melvin. haha. but sometimes it's like...so freaky.

haha. but the thing is that it's always the first thing that i grab that will coincide with what ppl will wear.

oh wells. at least it was different shades of yellow (cos i dun have his shade of yellow that he was wearing today) and he didn't carry his crumpler (it's exactly the same as mine except that his bag is not as abused as mine) cos he dun like crumpler anymore and he says that there are other cooler bags around (which i agree.)

okays. i shall go entertain myself until jian min finishes his FYP later so that we can go gym later.


yeah, i noe i haven't been here for ages. hehe.

oh wells. wasn't in a blogger mood cos too many things happened.

i guess right now i won't really blog unless i have the time or i feel that i ought to blog about it.

anyway, the darling cat was sick yesterday. and yeah. all that horrors of bringing her to the vet and making her eat the medicine.