I'm gonna be like a tree

Planted by the water

Trusting in the Father to keep me strong


I'm gonna be like a tree

Planted by the water

Trusting in the name of the Lord


The deeper the roots go

The better the fruits grow

The blessings bloom out for all to see


The deeper the roots go

The more my life shows

That Jesus is the Lord of me

(Lord of me!)


I'm gonna be like a tree

Planted by the water

Trusting in the Father to make me grow


I'm gonna be like a tree

Planted by the water

Trusting in the name of the Lord



as requested by fangling. the tree song that i was humming yesterday. haha. then again, i only remembered the 1st line of the stanza. =)


okies. gillian was sick yest. had fever during LM and then she got a M.C so she didn't take her plant nutrition and hydroponics, which she had studied for.

acually, she did wake up at 6 plus (the time she needs to wake up) but she felt too groggy to go. =p


As I come into Your presence

Past the gates of praiseInto Your sanctuary

'Till we're standing face to face


I look upon Your countenance

I see the fullness of your grace

I can only bow down


and say

You are awesome in this place Mighty God

You are awesome in this place Abba Father

You are worthy of all praise

To You our lives we raise

You are awesome in this place Mighty God


If Tomorrow Never Comes"


Sometimes late at night

I lie awake and watch her sleeping

She's lost in peaceful dreams

So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

And the thought crosses my mind

If I never wake up in the morning

Would she ever doubt the way I feel

About her in my heart



If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way to show her every day

That she's my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face the world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes



'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life

Who never knew how much I loved them

Now I live with the regret

That my true feelings for them never were revealed

So I made a promise to myself

To say each day how much she means to me

And avoid that circumstance

Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel



If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way to show her every day

That she's my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face the world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes



So tell that someone that you love

Just what you're thinking of

If tomorrow never comes



not exactly what i had in mind, but this song really reflects what if the tommorrow never comes and you were procrastinating something important to that tomorrow.

would that be ur biggest regret?

it really sets me thinking if all that u have planned will nv come true, or rather never have a chance to try it out, will that be one's biggest regret, or will the things that u once thought were useless or unimportant were actually the most important issues of ur life be the biggest regrets of ur life.

sometimes we tend to belittle the vulnerabilities in life. the things that are beneficial to us in our work can actually be the the weapons that can take away the very life that u are living.

how often do we actually stop and reflect ourselves and also take time to give thanks to God who sustains us and and preserves our lives in the world?

yep, if tomorrow never comes what would ur biggest regret of ur lives?


Hear Smyrna

Listen all you people of the earth

Hear Smyrna

This is what the Lord have said

"For I know of your sufferings,

I know the aflictions you went through

Fear not, I am with you

From this day till the very end


Take heart! Be strong!

A crown of life awaits those who will overcome

And are faithful to the end.


Take heart! Be strong!

A crown of life awaits those who will overcome

And are faithful even to the point of death."


gillian dun feel well.

and she just found out something pretty horrifying: stm is linked with heart problems too. and she got quite alot of the symptoms too.

hahA. i shall not scare myself anymore. it could be anything under the sun too. anyway, if it's to be something horrible, then i also got nth to say. my life belongs to Him anyway, it doesn't matter if i die tommorrow or sth, for my inheritance is with the Lord already.


i have never poured out so much to anyone in my life before. and it's really exhausing to type that long post.

anyway,i have already found my answer a long time ago to the last question that i asked like a minute ago.

if u hve the time, just continue scrolling down to the previous post and read that one first before heading to the next paragraph of this post.

JESUS knows what i am going thru at this point of my life. JESUS knows all my heartaches and all my problems way before i experience. JESUS knows that i would break down in the many still nights when people are fast asleep or when im in the stillness and the darkness of my room.

JESUS knows when im weak and weary, happy or sad, fuming or just fooling around. JESUS knows all the seasons of my life and all of my tempers and my temperment.

JESUS knows that i can't carry all that load i have in life all by myself, that's why HE chose to walk on earth like us just so that WE are REALEASED from the bondage of SIN and that HE will carry ALL of OUR BURDENS on HIS SHOULDERS when HE DIED FOR OUR SINS on that fateful day.

i know that He will never leave nor forsake me (heb 13:5b) and that He is faithful even when the heavens and earth pass away (mat 24:35, mark 13:31, luke 21:33)

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

how could i ever compare to the man Jesus? He chose to came down to save the very people who came to scorn him all because of LOVE.

it can be VERY HARD to comprehend God's love because 1st, we can never see it all thru our finite eyes. 2nd, we cannot understand why at times God allow bad things to happen to us and not the ppl who deserve it.

i know and i can be confused at times. let the unanswerable questions be left when we see God and as for now, let us just focus on the things that we know.


in the end, i didn't go.

not because im against my sister, but becos of sth and someone else.

i felt that i wasn't part of the family cos of someone and that person always value another person (xt)more.

so was if u like her more? that don't make her ur daughter anyway. just becos we share the same last chinese character then u treat her the way u are suppose to treat me issit? for ANY THING that u say u must mention her...

fine. anyway, since when did u even treat me like ur daughter? it's always 'im going shopping with xt', 'im meeting xt for lunch', 'ask xt to do this lei' or ;ask xt to go with us lei'.... since when did u even treat me like ur daughter as compared to her?

wadever. it has been like this since young, and it doesn't matter whether xt was in the picture in the first place. you never tell me anything impt and u never trusted me. u think i dunno? u are always backstabbing me when u think im asleep.

how can u say that u love me when u didn't even try to know me last time? how can u say u love me more then jie jie when u presume everything about me? it's so not fair to me.

so what if u did love me more than jie jie; i dun see it. in my eyes, everyone loves her more than me, since she has been the smarter, more out going, easier to talk to, and better performance whether in academics or cca or wadever between the two of us.

i dun care whether u say u love me, becos i dun see it. actions speaks louder than words.

and becos of u, im suffering. i feel so insecure, i feel so wretched when im alone. i feel that there's no worth in living. did u even noe?

just becos i tend to bottle everything within me doesn't mean that im okay. i smile when im hurting, i cry when im broken hearted. does anybody hear the silent cries or see that tears swallowed in my stomach or flowed when no one is around?

to tell u the truth, i am crying and have to stop typing for almost every sentance that u see in here.

the mask that u see, is so perfectly woven, that sometimes i dun even noe whether that's my true feelings anot.

i chose to blot out unhappy memories, and in the process of it all, i find myself lost. i lost so many memories and the ones i chose to keep is fading away but new ones that are created constantly, they dun seeem to register anymore in my head.

heartache, can anyone see how much hurt that it can cause?


i hate today.

knowing fully well that all these aren't real, yet i let my guard down. i let my will to run free, and i have hurt myself.

sometimes i just hate myself for just being so weak. like giving into temptations and believing sth which i noe fully well that is so not real.

sigh. it's so complicated.

it's impossible and that everything will come to pass.

gillian, STUDY!!!! where are ur goals? and why have u forgotten all abt ur hw?!

sigh. life being a student, it's tough.


God must be fulfilling revelations.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071118/wl_mideast_afp/israelireligionbahai

to be updated later.


well. back again.

due to popular demand by crusaders, i shall post why i am so happy in the last post and also the process. (i shall start from the very beginning...whereby most ppl whom i told to has nv heard. exclusive here!) haha

ACTUALLY the story began in SLR (student leaders' retreat)....we were praying for the ministry and the future leaders and if we would be interested in serving the ministry...and i heard a voice," I want you to be there'. Afraid of all the commitments and all (and mainly procrastination), i didn't check the box....

about 2 months later...after there was an annoucement to all crusaders to pray for the choosing SMs (spiritual multipliers, not SMS!!!) and also for the wisdom of the staff to be discerning... laniel diu asked me after dinner, after LM, to just pray about this ministry lors.

weeks later(?), went with michele, justin and sharyl to the crusade bookshop...then bought a devotion....and someone asked me about it again....(i can't rmb wad happened here...but yeah, i started to pray about it...)....

the next day....i did my devotion after michele told me to go do my qt cos i haven't done it, and becos i randomly flipped a page, i landed on a page with the title saying, 'Lessons from the life of Moses: I AM SENDING YOU' like i was so shocked. that must be like the confirmation to go! really. i think i was as shocked as moses at that time...when God asked us to get out of our comfort zones to do something great for the people. (just that his was on a bigger scale than mine.)

then a few days later...after the crusade barbecue, i was on the same bus as sarah and joel and i told them about the part from daniel asking me to pray abt the leadership...and they asked me to just continue to seek God and to double confirm if it was really God's calling.

the next day's devotion was 'Lessons from the life of Elijah: ELIJAH'S PROVISION' okays, now confirm plus chope that God wants me to be there le.


afterword

gillian has been under spritual attacks so pray that she will cntinue to draw strength from Him to overcome it.

Eph 6:12: For we wrestle, not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.


my God is a AWESOME God. and i love Him. and you should too. cos He's so GREAT, BIG and MARVELLOUS until if the skies were parchments and the ocean ink, they could never fill up the AWESOMEness of God.


with greater tasks come with greater responsibilities. to speak the truth, i have never been more excited about about the challenges that im facing soon. haha. i must not shortchange God, myself or my future spouse (oh if u are wondering, that's from joshua harris' book called i kissed dating goodbye') anything. so i must learn to face the challenges and also to be refined by them.


then again, i wasn't born in the spirit of fearfulness. yeap. i haven't eaxctly learnt to fear anything major in my life yet. not PSLE, not O-levels, and especially not defying the norms of typical singaporeans.


haha. i sound so on for the challenges. yup i definitely hope that i can stay that way for a long long time. =D


GILLIAN FEELS THAT SHE'S READY FOR THE WORLD WITH GOD IN FRONT, BESIDE, INSIDE, BEHIND AND IN ALL DIRECTIONS/ SURROUNDING HER INSIDE OUT.


Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.


Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.


Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;

Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;

Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:

Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.


Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.


High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.



Thank You Lord, for the new devotion book that i've just bought. thank You that You'll nv leave me nor forsake me. even though i have my faults and being ever so prone to sinning against You.

Lord, let me not be self- righteous, but only boasting my righteousness in You and You alone. Lord, peel off the layers of pride and all that i have that are not qualities that are Yours.

You know that im far from perfect and only by Your blood, can i stand in front of You and not die.

Lord, even tho You have so freely given this gift of salvation and the promise of having a share of Your glory in heaven, but yet, there are so many who have yet to hear about it or have rejected it.

let me have a heart of Yours to care and love Your ppl Lord. Amen.


argh. im so frustrated.


im frustrated with someone. cos i can't accept the person's working style and the way he puts himself up. grrr. and i hate the way he stresses me up FOR NOTHING.


sheesh. c'mon. it's irritating okays. to make ppl all so stressed up and when she did all her best in giving u want u wanted BY YOUR DEADLINE and yet, u just used the previous edition of her work. what is this?


i feel like im being robbed of my time, efforts and my intellectual property, to tell u honestly. and if u are reading this, u jolly well noe who u are. dun think i haven't said anything out means i accept your authoritarian rule. and to me u are just a dictat.


if u dun even trust the ppl around u, i must say i pity u. really. c'mon. get a life. doesn't mean that ppl not as competent as u on the surface dosen't mean that they are not. and even so, using underhand means to undermine ppl who are not as good as u just for the sake of topping the course for the scholarship at the end of the 3 yrs of poly life is just plain despicable.


whatever.


how i wished i could memorise psalm....oops i even forgot the number. heh. but it's a beautiful psalm.


Psalm 23

1 The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me, thy staff and thy rod they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a feast before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou annointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.




been lazy to blog and suddenly i had so much to blog...but they are all gone now.


been very bz with sch, work, and the many projects. and by the time i usually reach home...i had only enough energy to crawl to my bed and PLONK! im already on my way to lala- land.


yep. and im supposedly to do my projects. dang. okies. gtg.