tried clearing the mess in my room yesterdae. and i didn't succeed. to a certain extent...cos i've managed to limit the mess to my table and the floor ard it. WHICH IS SO NOT THE POINT. cos im supposed to clear the mess there and instead, i've increased the mess there.


sheesh. and it's a whole mountain of worksheets and i've already thrown like a lot away...and there's still got so much!!!


so i've got a long way to go before i can sit down at my table to do my revision cos they are all so messed up. seriously.


argh. and my sis was complaining that some of my past posts were too aggressive and insisted that i should take it off from here. wadevers.


i'm sitting at the wrong table doing the wrong things.


edits/


managed to clear the mess on the table..but messed up the floor again. oh wells. it's never ending...but at least sorted out my worksheets/ notes according to subject.


was playing wow worships 2005 on my cd player when clearing (and still running.) then i remembered wad Ps Q said, 'we are trying to upload the sermons in .mp3 format so u can download.' lol. but then again it'll be good to listen to sermons during the week. maybe we should have done that for YW sermons too. to think abt them thru the week too...when u feel ur mind nids to refresh or when u want to ponder abt them again on a deeper level.


had tuition just now...and i fell down again. -.-


and i just had to land on my injured side of my hand. gah. but at least it wasn't as painful as thurs' fall. thank God.


oh wells. my teva slippers have to go...cos i fell down with them twice. and the right side is super worn out. but i love my teva slippers la.


randoms.


oh yeah. i forgot to say in my previous post that u can ask mi to get spca stuff for u if u dun wan go down..cos im gg down to get the cards and other stuff from there too. lols.


and thanks to cm for the super belated prezzie again..cos it's so cute!! lala... =)


I LOVE YOU!!!!!


heh. wad u thinking abt la..im saying that to all my friends in church and in sch...which is alot but i like to mention good friends like brigitte, cl, pat, jasmine, julia, sandra, serene..and okie la...also to my crush.. =)


yep..yf today was a blast! haha...games and bbq. =) tralalalala....


and had tuition too and meeting for second service. not supose to leak out some stuff. yeah..but i kinda forgot wad it is all abt liaos...oops. which means im not leaking...lol.


oh wells. i can't wait to see him soon. tho it's not very soon before seeing him. =) looking on the bright side of life!! =)


oh ya. before i forget.... ANYONE WANTS TO GET THE CUTE MERCHANDISE FROM SPCA?? cos im going to spca after Os and can help u get the stuff that u all want... yep. and go get the christmas cards. they are SO cUTE!!!! haha...then u can give mi for christmas...haha. which i reallie dun mind.


whee. oh ya..if u nid links to spca or acres (wildlife conservation organization) or good tree( charity search engine with super good search results) they are all in my links.. yeah.


didn't feel like blogging yesterday...cos it was a LOUSY day.


lousy day cos i fell down while walking down a slope and i think got 20 odd ppl saw me. zzz. how malu can that be la. oh wells.


and the wounds hurt alot. yeah. which make mi dun feel like typing much, cos they are on the palm where i usually rest on the table when i type.


oh yeah. tuition wasn't as bad as i tot. lol. =) lol.


yeah. so much for now. byE!


edit/


maybe i should never ever mention some things at all. cos they are not worth mentioning and im sorry for mentioning cos they should be just left inside my brains and not be formed into words. sighs. =(


i feel so lonely. in an ever-changing world. am i all alone even in the midst of ppl? i hate this. i really hate it. take mi away from all this. i dun want to be part of the 'this is life' league. no. please take mi away from the cold and unfeeling concrete jungle.


if u all realised, i dun blog more than once a day.


anyways...attended the dialogue session despite not really studied before that. felt that the dialogue session helped thrash out wad some ppl felt towards YW, how YW has helped transit youths from ZJS to main service, the excecution of the plan and also not just change the name of YW to sth else and blah blah blah....yeah...somehow got lost during the second half of the session...cos it was like so many ppl trying to talk at the same time and i kinda lost track too...


anyways..Ps Q suggested to us privately (cos of personal view and not yet suggested to the BOE therefore not yet approved by the BOE or at least the COE) that YW may transform to a service which doesn't clash with main (cos the ppl serving wants to worship in another service cos they couldn't get to really worship God while serving.) and that it would be a youth- initiated, youth -led, youth- friendly service.


sth better than YW cos it will be weekly and we dun get to miss out anything..cos we miss alternate suns to go for YW and then we have gaps for the series of messages that they have at main. which does not help us understand the already so cheem messages.


and we could have youth choir (job's dream come true!) and have duets, solo and even acapella performances...lol..so cool rite? and Ps Q even suggested a mission trip to Israel for youths..and all the things abt hot air ballooning, a trip to the desert and having a sunrise worship at mt sainai.... =) (im SO bought over...I WANNA GO!!! =p)


haha...all sounds so airy now...cos all these would only happen if the BOE agrees to have the new service.


yep. had bbq after the session. quite fun. lol. seemed so camp-ish lar...and exams thrown aside and all.. whee!


yeah. and that cat of mine clawed a deep long cut on my thigh. and dun ask mi y she's so aggressive. but then it's partly my fault for not throwing her further. now my leg feels so awful. =(



edit/


after talking to daryl and reading jeremy's transcript (victor's haven't received yet.), i realised that things aren't gg to be that nice as it sounds like. not sure who to trust. pray that things will work out well. and that they will take us into serious consideration and our hurt and pain will be minimised to the least. sighs. no more mood to study liaos.


this is the day.


yep. for the dialogue session.


just pray hard that the dialogue will be a rational and a one with mautrity, and that the BOE can see why we want YW to carry on instead of a new revised main service and therefore drop their finalised plans to axe YW.


yeah. im going to church to study first for Os. byE!


didn't post yst cos my mom needed the com la.


some updates: dad tried to use the internet on sat...but was rather exasperated cos most websites are all in english (cos he's eng-illiterate.)..yeah. and i watched tv on sat. hmmmph.


went to jalan at the pasar malam at geylang serai ysterdae and bought quite a few pairs of earrings for myself (im gonna wear 'em all on sunday next time! yay.) and brooches for my mom and her friend. =) anyways...tonight will be the last dae....so better go jalan before it's too late. (got not bad steals from there...if u noe how to walk...that is..)


mom said that we shuld have jalan-ed at little india cos the stuff there are pretty and pretty cheap too..heh.


anyways. tried to study in church too..attempted 12 math questions and went thru 2 chapters of human geog. not alot..but at least i did sth. =)


wondering if i should go for the dialogue session tml. hmm.


zzz. see how lors. anyways for the benefit for those hu didn't noe (then i think im the last few ppl in yf to noe..but nvm..) the dialogue session is open to save YW from becoming history. and it's tml, 2 to 4 pm, at i- dunno- where. =p


gah. it's happening too fast. way too fast than i expected. im officially out from sch. but not from Os.


15 more days to O levels. WELCOME TO HELL, GILLIAN. haven't done much studying and i guess i can kiss my dreams good bye.


went for small group outing. quite odd, cos i guess we were all tired and all from the week. so in the end we all just slacked ard at roof top garden.


im not too sure if i should go for YF later. hmm. wet games. something that im not excatly keen of. and i need to study.


oh wells. i think i shan't go. and i need to save up money too. sheesh. i guess, i'll be on hiatus from YF till end of Os or sth. that will be no 4 yf for mi if i dun go from today onwards. will just see how it goes la.


oh yeah. maybe i shall just go MI with cl for first 3 months. cos after moderation and all...only managed to moderate to abit less than 30.


is it just me or wad?


i NEVER seem to have money for MOVIES at ALL for the past ONE AND A HALF YEARS. gahh. so whoever out there stop complaining that u dun have money and u keep going to the movies. imagine the amount u can save when u don't go to the movies for a year. i think that would be like almost (or more) 30 dollars for two movies; for the tix, popcorn, drinks and wadever u smuggled in if u didn't go to the 5 dollars movie house, that is.


and worse of all, i dun even have any savings. how pathetic.


anyways, THANK GOD for science prac!! yay. cos that hateful electricity didn't come out for physics. whew. so i noe i won't get a pathetic 1/15 for physics prac, like the way i did for prelims. lala. yay. one less paper! (if only if they would spread out the rest of the papers more away from each other.)


anyways. there's small group outing later and before that, i have to collect my report book, cos tml's the last dae of sch OFFICIALLY!!!! (no more truncated.) YAY!!!


gah. heard of many cases of bias-ness in the morderation and all..and many snide remarks about my class from a friend who views other ppl from other classes' blogs. so irritating. i hope they moderated mi till i can make it to JC for the first 3 months. which i think is highly impossible. but i've heard that it has been done to some ppl in the level.


i realised in quite happy abt leaving TK actually. but that cl keep saying until i kena influenced liaos. 5 yrs in that place, shouldn't u be elated to get out of there?


oh wells. today's sci prac. hols. tml sci prac. sians.


anyways. kester yesterdae brought a huge ugly beetle to sch to scare us. zzz. gosh. and it's gross. be glad those ppl in girls' sch man. at least i dun think u all have these episodes in sch.


yep. making potato salad for myself to eat while studying. yum yum. haven't eaten in like months. used to eat that when i pon sch cos it's cheap and fulling. (half of the time i pon cos i don't have money kaes? like how do u even survive with less than a buck in sch?)


yeah. thinking if i should go pnp later. =)


geez. i feel estranged and sad too.


maybe cos im going to step into a transition period and me, being so used in my comfort zone is not used to this.


maybe im going to miss TK after all. even after all the complaints that i have, all that talk abt how happy i would be to leave TK after all these years.


it's time to face up to new challenges, a new environment. and i guess, it's time to put away all that sentimentality and start chionging.


wells. GAMBATA to myself.


*updates* i knocked over a few pots of cactus this morning while slping.( dun ask mi how i did it..cos i've got no idea.) gah. floor's full of soil now.


tired. cos i woke up at 4:40 tis morning. nap first. =)


oh wells.


i guessed i should have understood better wad pastor Q was saying in his message yesterday. i've gotten the whole thing too much in my head now. yeah.


anyways, haven't been studying much..and Os are SO NEAR!!! gosh. i still can remember last yr i made a remark on how i felt like chionging for Os after my EOYs last yr. and now, i felt like slacking. guessed this is one bad thing abt retaining. u just screw up ur body clock. literally.


im supposed to do my QT. but i was so hungry and i heated some popiah to eat just now(been hungry the whole day long. hmm. sign of getting fat.) . yeah. where's my commitment man.. gah.


cam-whored again in class. did neoprint style dis time with the help of an OHP..haha...so fun...except that the gals made one that had sth to do with youpi gummy bear. zzz.


oh wells. last week in sch before sch officially closes. im gonna miss 4k'06 loads. =(


sheesh.


thought of the moment: y does everyone like to visit my blog when i nv update?


oh wells. fell asleep while waiting for mom to use finish the com, which explains y i didn't update even tho i was 'online' yesterday (if u said hi to mi yesterday...sorry for not replying u.) and this morning she was like no. 1, nv wake mi up to go church... zzzz.


open hse was fun yesterday...went to VJC, SAJC, and ACJC. whee. saw val, pris, michelle, bob, and lyd at their schools! (uncle sam was still happily sleeping when i called him. -.-) and i saw fiona (primary sch classmate.) in VJ. cool. i never knew she was pris' friend too...haha.


mi and cl loved SA alot. liked SA cos it was nice and also cos it was a christian sch (different environment) and also not many TK ppl would be there too...( cos i dun reallie like to be in a different environment with the same ppl.)...and oooh, they had the combi that i wanted..so it's sort of my first choice if i ever want to go JC... liked AC too..but we were like rushing there cos we reached like 3 and it ends at 3:30...so didn't reallie get to explore the place and absorb their sch spirit. mi and cl went to the art gallery and thought that the place would be brigitte's favourite place if she ever steps into AC. yep.


as for VJ, liked their sch spirit, but then it's super competitive there, cos ppl from DHs and TKGS all go there, and u still have to compete with the china scholars. zzz. no thanks. =p


yep. and today, the main focus of the talk was that the church plans to do away with YW. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! argh. no, no, no, no, no, NO! sheesh. i feel that YW bridges the gap better for teenagers between the secular world and christianity. and therefore, if u were to take it away, it would be harder to evangelise, cos they may be put off by main service seriousness, the too in- depth messages.


maybe we should all write a petition to prevent the boe from scraping YW off. gah.


haiya. boring sch.


had principal talk and all..and stayed back for a geog paper.


so demoralising la...cos i didn't noe how to do at all...plus that stupid talk. zzz. ended up did one and a quarter question. and doodling on the answer paper with all sorts of random stuff. tot i would just die when i was waiting for time to pass. yeah.


my youpi gummy bear. brigitte came up with that nick for him. but she tot that it was super obvious that's it's him. oh wells. she came up with that wad.


going for VJ, SA, CJ and AC open house tomorrow. another demoralising trip. oh wells. but then i could see the J1 ppl at their schools ( uncle sam, pris, val at VJ, michelle, bob(?) at SA, victoria, justin at CJ and lyd at SA! *provided that they are involved in the open hse that is!*) and it now sounds quite fun. hehe.


wadevers.


yeah. didn't do my commitments la.


cos i had a bad headache and then i felt super jl..and drifted off to sleep.


waited for cl to go find the physics teacher..in the end ended up cam whoring in class this time.


took a whooping hundred over picts today!!! but i guess cos of multi shots. yeah...but still, it's alot lors...cos my camera batt. died on mi...


im so tired. zzz.


i dunno if i should go JCs' open hse with cl or go beach do qt with julia and jas on sat. hmm.


give mi my youpi gummy bear!


hmm.


being 17 aren't that bad maybe? lol. wad a fast conclusion after 3 days.


haha....not feeling too well...maybe cos the haze has reallie gotten to mi now..having sinus again..geez. this sux.


gah. so many things not done.and i haven't been doing my commitments. sheesh.n like one day do, one day nv do. argh.


not looking forward gg to sch tml..cos of some stuff that i can't settle. sighs.


i've got nth to post actuallie. just blogging for the sake of it.


i haven't stopped thinking abt u. wish i could tho. really. argh.




is it just me that my tagboard's not working? hm.


anyways...chinling and i were cam whoring in the toliet. lol. i noe, of all places, why the toilet rite? cos we spent loads of time in there and we wanted sth different ba.






evidence of us in the toilet taking lame picts. oh wells. it's very fun la. should go try one dae, esp if ur class has almost the whole toilet to urselves. as in no other classes use that toilet that frequently becos they are located somewhere else. =)


yeah. time to do effective studying and to do QT and to reply letters. =)


haha.


it's my bd and therefore everyone visits my blog today..but i didn't reallie post anything nice today.


oh wells. mom's bugging mi to get my butt off the com. sheesh. and so i just like to thank jennifer, lydia, eileen, josiah, tim sng, jas, joy, grace (kcp), josette, daryl, daphne, vanessa, dee, amirul and whoever i missed out cos i can't see hu smsed mi, for wishing mi a happie birthdae today and all who did that yst, julia, jerry, charles, serene lim and i can't rmb hu..yeah. and a BIG THANK U to brigitte, chinling, my yd for the prezzies. =)


zzz. okies. gtg. bb!


not a very happie day today. but at least, i tried to make it happie.but i can't.


had a so so dinner at jumbo, some restaurant at serangoon garden country club. not fantastic and then there were some old hags smoking in the ladies' while i was in it. which totally destroyed any good impression of it before that.


and being me, just purposedly said very loudly that 'there are some ppl hu smoke smoke smoke like chimney pots here....' and my sis was so embraressed that she quickly left the toilet and scolded mi for being a b-i-t-c-h and that i should show some christian love. (which i somehow dun see the need to.)


and then she complained to my mom abt mi...and guess wad? my mom went into the toilet and scolded them too! haha..yay. there goes the sayings 'like mother, like daughter' and 'a chip off the old block'.


it's so irritating to have ppl smoking, esp in air conditioned places. and then the worst of all, to have those old hags trying to right the wrong things by saying 'it's okie to smoke after dinner..' like eeewk! i DUN SMOKE and u want to die it's ur problem, dun drag mi into it too..and if u didn't realise, it's ILLEGAL to smoke in air- conditioned places. i could have easily called the police and have them arrested.


and the goverment or the authorites in charge should enforce the law in these places. if not that these places would just allow their customers to smoke in their restaurants and continue endangering the lives of non- smokers.


anyways, before i go and have effective studying and do QT, i just wanna thank charles for keeping me company just now before i went to mit my mom...yeah. like i was distruping him from studying his bio stuff la...kaes..i felt so bad. yeah. THANKS SO MUCH, CHARLES!! =)


brought the cat to yf. cos i didn't want come go home and go out again cos she has to visit the vet cos of an ear infection and her vaccine.


was very noisy throughout the journey to church...but AMAZINGLY, she was quiet during yf. amazing amazing. =) maybe she felt the presence of God there. and she decided to be quiet before the Lord. haha. or maybe she was just tired.


oh ya...EVERYONE LOVES HER.... all say she so guai and has nice eyes. (she's naughty just that u all didn't noe and she's shy with strangers. wait till u all noe her la...) ....except joy and some others. ( cos they didn't like animals/ cats.)
anyways, i think she was greatly affected by the haze, cos she was like panting and she was madly drinking water when she came home.


and brandon said that he will make her exercise..lol..cos she's fat. and that exercise will make her live longer cos nid to protect her organs from premature failure. and therefore he will get her a leash on her birthday... =) and i'm to bring her every week to yf to get her exercise. and i will get mine by carrying her to and fro church.


zzz.


i should have known that i won't get to shop at the night market with my dad.


oh wells. but anyways...there were stuff that caught my eyes la...so maybe i will go get them when i go shopping with my mom.


yay. it's sat again. the last weekend of my 16th year on earth. oh wells. maybe im looking forward to a new chapter of my life.


chapter 17. =)


oh wells...didn't go and find joshua in the end...went to my maternal grandma's place to send mooncakes...and decided not to have the bbq cos the time and all wasn't practical.


anyways..didn't have chinese, which was the last sub of the day...so school ended at 10:50 for mi today...sis and dad picked mi up from sch and went to find where was acres (that was in pasir ris) and then we headed to amk for the mouth watering carrot cake, only to find it not opened. and i had some quite gross tasting kuay chap..zzz..and so we headed to toa payoh lor 8 to find carrot cake and it wasn't opened either..so headed to lor 1a to check out...which wasn't open TOO!!!(hey..ramadan so not open huh?) but i smelt some very good food there...but wasn't allowed to eat cos my sis insisted on eating carrot cake la...so sad. =(


so we headed to geylang lor 1 (somewhere there) cos my dad wanted to eat the porridge and they had not bad fried penang kway tiao..so went there...and my sis got her wish of having fried carrot cake and her fried kway tiao and my dad, his porridge.


and the food came and it wasn't that fantastic either...cos the carrot cake was all burnt (so much for wanting it black.) and i couldn't eat the 'han' in the kway tiao..(but i still ate one cos i couldn't resist the temptation..yeah..and so im itching now..zzz..)


yeah. and im gg to walk the night market near my place (geylang serai) and have a ramily burger later..haha..and not forgetting to shop la..


that's y i love where my place is located. yeah. but then again, im also glad that my dad's applying for a new flat somewhere..cos it means that im gg to have my own room soon. (provided that we can get the flat, that is.)


random thought of the day: i was supposed to be God's gift to my parents 17 yrs ago..yeah. (today's my parents' wedding anniversary.) but just being mi, i was late. by 3 daes. hehe. =)


thank God that my world didn't fall on me.


hmm. dun reallie feel like doing anything now or the past few daes. yeah. but i guess..u all can still tok to mi online or sms mi or sth...i will definitely reply...unless im bz or sth lors.


yeah. maybe im gg to light the lantern with joshua later, my sis' tuition kid cum my 'lil bro. he's a cute boy. lol.


sighs. it seems that my world is going to fall on mi. there are signs showing that some pieces are falling from where it should be, and coming down on mi.


and im not intending to let my world fall on mi; not 6 days before my bd,; not 1 month and 3 days before my O-levels start.


im going to put back the pieces in place. it's going be hard, for the pieces are pieces of a traumatic experience and others, but im not going to let them hinder mi. i had let them gotten mi down before, and im not going to let them do so another time.


it's time to get them over once and for all, at least, may it never come back anymore to haunt mi conciously.


feel quite upset and rather disappointed with myself.


yeah. feel like screaming now. even tho im SUPPOSED to be happie today.


i need to clear my thoughts. reallie.


O-levels in exactly ONE MONTH AND FOUR DAYS!


im not too happie with what im doing. =(


i told ya that i'll be back lors...


this post was supposed to be yest's..yeah...but a post right after typing semi-hiatus would be like so zzz...yeah...yf programme was sth like an ice breaker games..like getting to noe yfers' more. so i thought it would be good to to let ppl noe la. (for the benefit of the yf-ers hu visit my blog but didn't go for yf yest.) and so im doing everything that was shown on the slide yest. =)


What i want for at the end of the year...


i would want O's to be over, so that i could go work and also go for yf camp and mission trip( before my O's results come out.). yeah..and i can't wait for christmas too! =)


What most ppl dun noe abt mi....


hmm..kinda tough..okies..i think i should have died at least 10 times already..i nearly drowned when i was in pri 4 when i was having my swimming cert. for bronze cert. and this yr there was a lousy week where i nearly got banged down by a car at least once in a row of a week.


Something to share abt yd, yf, yw or the last outreach...


hmm..as u ppl noe, i was part of the outreach comm. , so thru the last outreach, i learnt many things and also worked with many different ppl. thank God for the chance to work with many ppl in yf..and also learn that teamwork and mutal cooperation's very impt. and of course, i had many good memories from all the meetings and on the actual day. =)


Anything...


after saying all that above, i would like to add that YF's given mi many good memories for the past 3 yrs and many good friends and most of all, a good place where i can learn more abt God's word thru interactive ways and messages that are more catered for the youths.


so i reallie hope that they will not make YW into a secular service for all ages. cos different age groups have different needs and we wouldn't be able to learn as much as we would now.