i think i will be going on a semi-hiatus..for now.


cos im supposed to be chiong-ing for my Os now..but apprantly im not lors...cos i need to go online for at least 15 mins a day if not i'll cringe (unless it's yf camp or sth..then it's a diff story altogether..)..so yeah..


so the fastest way to get my thoughts down will be the traditional way of keeping a diary..which i have actually...cos there are too many thoughts that i have that are not meant to be posted here...or they are in chinese..which i can't read them on the blog..yeah..


so i will be penning my all thoughts down in my diary of foolscape paper! yay. =) great way of keeping a diary...esp if u always loose interest in ur diary after writing a little less than half a book or sth else...saves u the hassle of buying a nice new book (which can be quite ex at times.) and u can now literally write ur thoughts anytime, anywhere, so long u've got ur foolscape pad with u..and best of it all, ppl wouldn't noe u're writing ur diary..and where exactly u keep it...esp if u got loads of files and papers on ur table.


yeah..im promoting the goodness of writing a diary on foolscape paper! but i must also admit that the negative side of it is that u waste alot of space and paper..cos i use one sheet a day and i only use one side most of the time unless i got that many things to write..which is no..i dun write an essay abt my day okies?(unless im writing a poem or it's a doodle to keep my small little brain gg on..)..like it's not exactly in tie with my 'recycling programme' that i strive to implement on myself and hopefully influence the ppl ard mi.. 9=


but of course i'll be back to post when my Os are over and when i really have the urge to sream things here lors..which i think will be not too long after this post. cos i love to blog. yeah.


im actuallie quite pissed the whole dae today...with ppl, my grades and myself.


i went up this bus and the bus driver checked my bus pass AGAIN!!!! (wad's his **!"£$%^&* problem?! paedophile dey...check every single student's ez link card when coming up..wad? not happie issit?) and somemore he was driving like a tortise (maybe 30- 40 km/h) and we were all late for sch la...zzzz... and there was this guy who somehow feel pissed with mi just diao-ed mi..and of course being so pissed with the bus driver, diao-ed him...


yeah...spoilt my mood for the day...and i felt idiotic with my papers..cos i failed ALL that i've gotten back today...except eng and dnt. so i failed math (but got improvements..yay!), science (thanks to my physics prac and i just threw like 10 marks away in my physics paper..), geog (cos i failed super badly for this question la...)zzz...damn...all the subjects that i needed in my L1R5/ L1B4...


and i dun even noe how should i go about salvaging my marks. sheesh. like i dun noe where to start salvaging the situation from. like to me...it's like huh?!


prelims sux. it's not a gauge where u stand..cos if u make it harder than the actual O-levels, it just demoralises students esp when they are failing everything...and u look at ur own results...like 30 odd points..and the highest in ur own class is like 20 points for L1R5...like wad'd the point of sitting the paper when u feel that u're not ready?


at least not mi..if i had the choice. yeah. but then i kinda felt that i shouldn't let it get mi down after thinking of him.( i noe i said that i will get over him but at least for now till the end of O- levels la...let mi just think of him...cos he's a good motivator to make mi study la.) i noe i sound bad...but for now i can't think of any other things that motivates mi to reallie sit down and study. yeah. =D


many thoughts running thru mi right now.


i dunno exactly wad to type here. suddenly i just feel lost in the crowds of the multitudes. i just feel that im alone, yet not exactly alone, and just that i dun have anywhere to go.


i dun think im cut out for urban life, yet i dun think im exactly a countrysider. i feel lost amongst the masive concrete jungle, yet im not to sure if i can make friends with nature.


i want to run away from this cold, fast moving world, yet im not too sure if im ready to embrace life without the comforts of modern living, life without the ppl i loved dearly in this city.


im still not ready. im not ready to fly, nor im ready to leave this world behind mi. im feel im not ready for anything that's coming in my way.


it's complicated,then wad i tot. growing up. it's not that a simple thing as wad i thought as a child. saying that i want to do agriculture as a major in the university, saying that i want to do mission work to win souls for the Lord is not that simple.


i never realised that the material things that i might have to give up would be that hard. i never realised how heavy the cross would be if i were to do so. to do the things that i had in mind is not going to be easy and simple.


i can't back out now and say 'Lord, im not going to do this cos i think i can't.' cos He has placed a burden in me to do so a few yrs back and i can't give up without even trying. i promised Him that i would venture out into the field and i shouldn't back out on my promise. cos that ain't gillian, that's mi, if u didn't realised.


gillie, in the dictionary, says that it is a name given to scottish men or boys who help ppl to fish.


so im gonna try my best to be a fisher of men, not a fisherman. all for God's glory.


there goes my marking dae hols. all in sch. zzz.


went for the moe survey thingy...and in the end they told us we were randomly picked. =( anyways, the guys who interviewed us were quite nice..and one of them looked like a mix of kee hoe (the ex- chem teacher and hod.) and a mix of this lower sec guy whom i took bus with quite often but my first impression was that he looked like keanu reeves. haha. yeah. looks cute...but too bad he's balding, even tho bri saes he's not. i think he is la, or unless he nv gel his hair properly then can see bald patches la.


and during that survey thingy...i was randomly thinking that maybe that kee hoe lookalike's around 28 annd the other guy looked like maybe he has a kid who's around four? (now i reallie sound like a stalker perv...but that's wad i do when im bored..guessing ppl's background. =p but hey...im not bad at guessing lor..just that i dun tell u lor..t-s-k.)


anyways...after that, went to see the doctor cos the itch is super jl...then the doc said that it's either allergic rash or scabies. and prescribed mi some anti- itch medicine..and im still itching or maybe it got worse. zzz.


yeah..i hope it's some allergic rash..tho i dun think im allergic to anything else other than dust.


hmm. couldn't wake up for sch today. yeah. rained this morning and i actuallie forgot to bring my brolly! thank God that a lady offered to send me to sch by cab. =)


brigitte, jeremy and i went to this good prata place to have prata just now!!! had a banana prata, egg prata and a plain wan cos i was super hungry and i didn't noe wad to choose from...and they were so crispy la (esp the banana one)!!!! haha...but it's kinda ulu cos u can only get bus from my sis' church office there? (haha..we took a bus from there. and i dun really remember the bus services at the bus stop other than the one we took to there.) and the best part of it all? it's aircon-ed...so dear brigitte didn't complained abt it being hot and stuffy. but she complained that y it was prata, not her fave mee sua or ramen. lol.


haha...was just telling daryl abt the prata place and he was like 'haha...trying to tempt mi ar?' and i just told him that he could go food expedition when he comes back in dec. =)


anyways. i dun think i can go into jc for the 1st three mths. hm. i wanted to work at ikea during nov- dec hols. but then i dun think they will let mi have a wk off to go for yf camp leis. but i need cash to buy christmas prezzies la. how?


so infuriating.


com's lagging. sighs.


updates: spent my sat in sch doing dnt, which caused me to miss yf for the first time in the year. ended at 10:30 pm..then rushed home to prepaare to go airport to send daryl off...cos i didn't want to pay midnight fare...but in the end..i missed the bus and the mrt gg to changi airport..so cabbed down from tanah merah...which was 8 bucks...not too bad cos got midnight charges too..


then fell asleep at the food court upstairs...but woke up abt an hour's time..cos it was too cold for comfort. and kena chased out too cos they were cleaning the place too...headed down to bk..and saw sharon and david there too! haha...camped there to study la..


so waited there till the rest came. ya..and we (daryl, the family, sharon, david, serene, joel, brandon and i) sat at jollybean to grab a bite and just talk la. and then the time came and he left lors.


so went to church and slpt for a while before yd...and i actually didn't sleep during yw!!! (considering the fact that fri i had prom too..and woke up super early on sat.)


went sch after lunch to finish up the last few bits of it. but then i decided not to do presentaion drwaing...cos im simply too tired and i can't colour-render (or colouring) at ALL!


anyways...glad that daryl msged mi back said that he touched down liaos.. thank God for journey mercies. =) that's a good 20 hr flight. makes me wonder if i really want to go to university of queensland to study next time...if i can make it that is...like u're flying back and forth during hols just to see the ppl u've missed badly at home.


back. from prom.


wasn't as fantastic as i thought. food didn't have Q.C at all...cos i think i had similar dishes at a relative's wedding last time and it tasted better. but then again, thinking of the $60 that i paid, how much had actuallie went to the food?


seeing thru the picts that were taken, i felt that it was quite badly taken...zzz. cos i dun like using flash from the camera but the lighting there was bad. so no choice. and the nicer picts had mi in my spects. zzz. sian zi pua. (cos i took the picts and i kinda forgot y the things i see aren't that blur..but anyways...my spects are quite retro too.)


so by the time i take my pick..there aren't many nice picts at all. yeah. and somehow, i became 4j's class photograper. everytime sch events their class photo is i take one. lol. nice rite?


chiwen and i walked from meritus mandrin (somerset) to bugis ( that's 3 mrt stops! yay!)and on our way...we stopped to have mac's for supper. (cos i was craving for something to chew.) and there goes my burnt calories. and cabbed home cos we had nth better to do la...cos there ain't things to do at cine except k-box, arcade and movies. and we didn't reallie want to end the night.


supposed to bathe now but my cat killed a roach in the bathroom and i dun reallie intend to bathe with that thing inside.


argh. and i still have sch later. sigh.


zzz.i must have done sth wrong. or i won't be itching like mad for the past few daes. doesn't seem to stop itching after everything i've done. this sux.


didn't study for my dnt paper la...fell alseep just now. and im still super duper tired. oh wells. i bet not many ppl in my class actually studied for it too. except ppl like elliot, the dnt chiongster, and i can't think hu else will study wan.


finally, prelims will be gone in less than 10 hrs. yippie!!! i can't wait for it to be over. =) but just that by the time i finished, the overseas ppl would have left/ will be leaving. then frisbee ain't that fun anymore.


sheesh! im still itching. and i think it's getting from bad to worse.


was quite upset just now. but im super happie now.


'CAUSE IM GOING TO OWN THE RETRO QUEEN TITLE. haha...jkjk.


anyways. shopping therapy works wonders. i left all my unhappiness and shopped till im so happy now. but then again, u must have the money to spend before u feel happy. haha.


i actually wanted to add on to my previous post...but then after puting on the stuff that i bought just now, i didn't have the heart to do so. cos im so happie with the overall effects.


yay. it's a happy post. cos of prom. cos it's a happy event too.


anyways...saw karwei on the bus when i was on my way to j8 and dickson (or was it kyser?), the guy hu came for outreach, at j8...nearly bumped into me cos he was intently reading his book while walking and of course, he didn't recognise me la...lol. cos i was helping out randomly at outreach.


hehe. so happie. =) hopefully..i will be happie at least until after prom. =) which i suddenly reminded of my dnt and that stupid dnt paper on fri morn. zzz. wad a wet blanket. =(


i dun see the meaning of blogging anymore.


it's so irritating to have ppl hounding u for posts when u dun feel like posting and ppl showing off their knowledge about u by backstabbing u with everything that u write on ur blog or..laughing at everything that u write in front of ppl.


pointless. loads of ppl are having secret blogs. which i might as well not have a blog in the first place if i want it to be secret. (no offence gals, but that's really what i think. cos ppl will still find out one day. zhi shi bao bu zhu huo de.)


im thinking if i should close this. even tho i do enjoy blogging. oh wells.




i wish ppl would stop bothering me with the things that i type here.


it's so irritating, as in it's just a blog. and it is just a place to pour out my grouses publicly can?


please stop irritating me by saying abt ur tots about my posts just because u think im gg the wrong way or that u want to find sth to talk or to show that u think u noe every single detail of my life. please. it's irritating. and i noe that all of u noe that too.


i hate ppl bugging me to do this, do that and STALKING MY BLOG. not that i dun appreciate the effort, but do u realise that it's super on my nerves? and if i didn't tell u, let me tell u that i almost didn't go for my sister's baptism cos she was bugging for the entire time i was at home to go even after i promised her to go?


better dun piss me. u definitely haven't seen the worse side of me yet. and i reallie dun intend to show it unless u force mi too.


and if u didn't realise, i could always lie thru my teeth here on my blog without u noe-ing that it's all fiction.


hmm.


for the first time in my life, i actually dozed off during exams. not that a pleasant experience. oops. and i managed to wake myself up by thinking of him.


wrong thing to think abt during exams huh?


yeah. at last it's gonna end! whee. im random again.


anyways, think i shall reconsider wad to wear for prom. argh.


oh ya. i want to go out on wed. =) date mi cos im free. lol.
this is such a random post.


outreach yesterday was GOOD. at least better than expected.


yeah. had good memories from it. and all our efforts had paid off..Praise God. and that prayers had been answered and unanswered too..for His good purpose.


liked that song that daryl composed/ played. yeah. cos the lyrics kinda applied to me too... =) remebering the days when my dad brought me to the carpark at marina south park (not near my hse.)and other places too and taught me how to ride a bike and also the daes when my eyes were brimmed with tears when i was down and not able to praise His name. and all these, just done so that i could know the purpose, which is to become stronger and be a better person.


yeah. and in a blink of an eye, rach and daryl's leaving again. sighs. then it would be odd to not see them again. oh wells. at least they and kwanie would be coming back at the end of the yr...for yf camp and christmas. at least better than nothing right?


yeah. and prom's in 5 daes. suddenly, im not looking forward to it.


and i still can't help but say that i still like him super duper alot. oh wells. say until like he's mine liaddat. when he's not. =p




i dunno if that's a gift from God to me.


but i seem to be able to speak in tongues.hmm.


first noticed that last sun..like when we were praying, my tongue started to move uncotrollably and even more so during the prayer meeting for outreach just now.


but right now, im quite skeptical, cos like it could be memory stuff..cos my sis' church ppl do speak in tongues. and it could be either just me or the Holy Spirit's working in me...


just like the way i shake uncontrollaby at times during praying.


hmm. i shall just trust in Him.


shucks. got so many things to do.


anyways. short update. OUTREACH'S TOMORROW!!!can't believe that's it's here.


it seemed so long ago when the comm. came together to have our very first meeting, to plan and to get the details down. yeah, and our work is going to show tomorrow. thank God for seeing us thru, esp the times when we think that we couldn't make it, thank Him for sending ppl to help us, thank Him for being so faithful to His ppl!


=) anyways.i have sch tomorrow and i can't help them to set up stuff and all. =( sighs. oh wells. gtg. nid to get the last details done. =)


to the glory of GOD!




sighs.


rained again today. anyways..met jas to go ikea today. and while waiting for her, i was thinking, if i see him today then i shall tell him.


then while at some where, i saw him. nice.


so now i dunno wad to do. lol.


okies. story ends here. cos some ppl's getting frustrated abt it. to think that i was thinking to myself that i shall not post abt him today...(but that was before i saw him.)


yeah. anyways, im even more pissed with the bus company after hearing my mom's story abt how a pair of sisters had to be dependent on each other (like literally.) after the bus jerked and she flew out of her seat and hurt her one side of her body. cos they refused to compensate and also it shows that the bus rides are not very safe and at the same time they increased the bus fares.


like hello? wad rubbish is this? as a commuter, i have my rights of ensuring that my money spent is not going down the longkang and that my safety's ensured. think we wad? ur money tree right? so u can line ur pockets with our money. (parents' money.) so u noe that the general public is dissatisfied with the hike of taxi fare then now all take bus so now ur golden chance to 'chiao zha' us right? cos if we boycott you, then we got like no mode of transportation liao.


good lors. so u all are lining urselves with our money and u sit there kiao ka then ppl injure cos of ur services then also bo chap.


geez.


papers weren't too bad. thank God.


yeah. the girls wanted to sms him with crap stuff cos we were bored..but thankfully they didn't..or i'll be so malu-ed... =)


then i realised that all my posts for this month were almost all abt him and nth else. which is kinda boring for ppl to read my crush on a guy all the time.


hmm..let's see..i dun reallie have much to post abt cos i've haven't really been caring much abt alot of stuff recently...except for the stupid bus fare hike again tt i've seen on tv yesterday.


not as if they provide fantastic bus services after the bus fare hike..think it got even worse. jerkier ya..and i dun think the state of the buses are that fantastic too..


and other stuff which i can go on and on abt. brigitte and chinling were still saying i can be the next xiaxue (which i dun reallie intend to be like her in any case.)..cos i scold ppl and comment stuff on my blog. then get invited on talk shows to comment the current affairs and get paid by mediacorp. lol. im happie just to be an unknown blogger. cos i dun want the whole of singapore to flood my blog everyday..and noe everything abt mi. ya, u've heard that. i dun want to be popular.


seemingly, i've always come online at the wrong time where no one's online. zzz. oh wells. anyways, i can't help but to say that i still like him super duper alot. =)


didn't feel like studying for chem nor for history paper.


felt weird to not see him online and out of bordom did some 'stalking' on the web. lol. IM A STALKER! BEWARE. i might just stalk u for all u noe. haha.


and i found some interesting facts of him somewhere on the web. lol. so funnie larhs. and that pict looks cute..tho it kinda remind mi of a pict of uncle sam that's in my phone cos they are both on the sofa in the clubhouse.(tt's so not the zhong dian.)


oops. he might be reading this. erm. wadevers. =p


yeah. anyways. prayer meeting starts at 7:30 pm on fri, so hmm..maybe we go jog at ard 5 or sth? so we can finish running by 6 plus then wash up and have dinner before it starts.


yay. i somehow enjoy running now. =)


I WANNA GO JOGGING NOW!!!


obviously i can't, cos i still have papers tml and it looked like it's gonna rain again.


yeah. so i have just dated serene to go jogging with me on fri before prayer meeting for outreach!! yay. interested persons can just call me at night or on fri...or via msn. (no sms please. cos i can't see the screen at all.)


and it's drizzling again! fourth day in a row. sighs. actually i noe wad God's trying to tell mi...but i kinda dun really want to accept it.


sighs. i wish i could be a bird at times. soaring freely and without worries. to feel the wind under my wings and to see the hustle and bustle of the city just below me. to see the beauty of places where i fly to...


back to reality. so far, i think i've done quite badly for my prelims. wadevers. shall catch a nap first before they come home and start kicking a ruckus and disturb me.


if anyone said that letting go was easy...then that person must be lying.


i dun want to think anymore. i just feel numb.


it doesn't matter anymore hu was the one who did that wound to mi. but i wished that it was u who did it, so that at least i noe wad u're thinking about.


i feel that u're so incomprehensive, like a novel that it's beyond me. but the curious mi just wants to read it becos it looks interesting.


maybe i haven't known u that long, nor i've talked to u in- depth in person. but then, nothing really matters anymore.


anyways. now com hates messenger. couldn't go on ANY messengers, from windows live messenger, to windows messenger to e- messenger and yahoo! messenger too. sian zi pua.


AND IT RAINED EVERYWHERE I GO FOR THE PAST 3 DAYS. God really must have sth to tell me.


if u're wondering y am i blogging on the first day of my prelims at 7:30 am, it's because my papers start at 2...lol


yeah.


im thinking wad to post.


oh ya...i just know that joshua sim had left to study in (aust?) abt a mth ago...haha..im slow and sua ku la...sheesh.


anyways, i've managed to influence JOY and JASMINE to like cactus too!!!!yay! lol. i told you, cactus ain't shallow. they are so cool and cute! (whether by ur influence or not.but i dun deny that they were cuter with ur influence.)


im getting all jittery for my papers. argh.


it's raining almost everywhere i go for the past 2 days.


sighs. maybe God's trying to tell mi sth.but being human and with limited intellegience, i dun understand.


oh wells. anyways. it's hard to let go but at least i've made the first step out. =)
yay.


if given a chance, i would definitely want to noe him more cos i feel he's a very 'interesting' person to explore. haha.


stupid. mom's bugging me to get off the com. wadevers.


i dunno.


teenage years. y are they so long and ever- changing?


i've learnt to let go already. maybe not everything, but at least more than half of it.


i doubt anything would come out of it anyways. like wad someone said, he's the lady-killer in yf last time. and that sometimes his actions are just out of courstey or overdoing it unwittingly cos he is more of the 'emotional' person..which i can't really explain it here.


oh wells. it's okies. what doesn't kill me will make me stronger right? it would be dumb to not wake up from the bubble that i've created for myself and it is not too late to save myself from sinking in further, altho i think i have already sunken in quite deep. at least i won't drown in it yet.


lols. a bubble burst. oh wells. time to slp, if not cannot wake up for church tomorrow and will not have energy to do maths and play frisbee (i find that after frisbee i really perk up..cos i need exercise la.)


I SERIOUSLY FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT NOW. WHY DIDN'T I TREASURE THAT OPPORTUNITY TO TELL HIM HOW I FELT?


argh. feeling super lousy now. cos i wasted many opportunities today to tell him how i felt.


see! it's even raining outside now. like heaven's crying abt y am i so good at wasting opportunities given to me.(lol. just an imagery. or maybe it's true.)


i better start learning how to treasure opportunities before it's too late. before everything just slips away from me. sighs.


I wish that you knew that you mean much more to me than just a friend. which i think that you know but just waiting for me to make the first move.


sheesh.


falling into an abyss of feelings. seriously dunno wad im feeling now.


i wished i haven't allowed myself to like him. is it wrong to like a person that much?


it's such a torture.


oh wells. it's just so depressing to type a post like that too...esp. when u dun feel too well..


i only have two more weeks to sort out my thoughts. argh.


so glad i've talked to u.


it made me remembered that my life doesn't just revolve around him. but also things like my prelims and Os. and of course my goal to study sth at some university. probably agri-/ horti- culture at university of queensland.


lol. still not in the mood to study thos.


anyways. i hate coming online when no one whom i normally chat with aren't up except ppl like daryl. then wait for him to reply is like AGES. then by the time we end our conversations like 3 plus 4..or like that time, till i went to sch at 6. (im not complaining here.) sheesh. stupid laptop. no connection.


oh wells.im supposed to be on a hiatus and all so that im revising my maths and all other subjects. so that i can pursue sth on a higher level.


someone please bug mi to study.


wish i could shout out that i like him.


oh wells. maybe i should. or else i might reget it huh?


and becos i went ikea just now...i went to buy another 3 pots of cactus again. okies...friends, please faint. cos i noe u ppl are wondering y am i obsessed with them.


cos they are so so CUTE LA!!!!lol. and it kinda helps to clear the dust in my room. (all plants does that) oh daryl, if u're reading this, it might help to reduce the amt of dust in ur room, so it will help u recover faster and reduce the chances of dust allergy. so u might want to buy some back. =) AND CACTUSES ARE NOT SHALLOW!


yeah. didn't study much again. sigh. hols are not meant for studying la.


was talking to jose and daryl a few hours ago..


like so long never tok together online and in real life too for so long la..so im glad that we just talked la..


and of course im the conversation- killer..lol..cos im ANTI-SOCIAL, one of the many groups of ppl whom the nazis hate.(hey!that was from the history textbook. said that anti-socials are sent for behavioural lessons and all.) =p


anyways, that conversation's too young for mi...all that celebrity and boyband talk..lol. like i really admire daryl for able to talk abt all that cos i can't and won't really bother talking abt all that. which then again boils down to how much u want to noe a certain person.


think im super influenced by my sister who comes ard and say the entertainment circle are all but good sort of thing..and also i've feel that i have also outgrown this stage cos my sch hrs dun allow mi to watch all these entertainment shows and i dun reallie bother that im like so swa ku kind..


maybe cos i've learnt that i can't have the whole world and wad i can't have, i've learnt to take it into my stride. u have to sacrifice some things to get to ur goal.


and then after jose left, we were toking abt y girls dun like to take initiative to ask a guy to be her date sort of stuff..and the person that i like lor..lol.


anyways...i think he noes hu i like. just that he dun wan sae. tsk.tsk. waiting for the good show rite?
okies. sth else. IM SO HAPPY THAT IM GOING IKEA LATER!!!! yay! ikea's my fave place to be now...cos i love shopping for all my needs in one place. =)


hmmm...just thinking on sun that the girls in my yd are super gossipy...


made some mean remarks abt the teacher...which i tot that the teacher was okie...and maybe they are just exaggerating and all..or maybe...im just more 'mature' in some sense. (sounds bhb...but i reallie dunno how to describe.)


or maybe im just different from them, not coming from a christian background and just wanting to noe more abt things which would aid mi to better understand the bible...sort of...wadever.


i guess we just have different priorities in life and a way diff view of looking at things.


anyways. back from my random thoughts. i didn't study much at all and im SLACKING the WHOLE DAY. shucks. im so gonna fail my prelims now, if i dun start studying now.


spent most of the day thinking abt him and sleeping la..oh my gosh...is like i will flip a few pages then self declare that it's time to think of him then no matter how hard i try i can't quiten down my heart to continue studying...then i go slp then wake up and the routine goes on...


argh...maybe he's one of the silent stalkers that doesn't tag after coming...then he noes everything abt mi when i dun reallie noe him...sheesh.


am i imagining things again?


oh wells.


so much for the 'sensible' love talk with chinling last fri. =p


we had that topic cos there was this dae a guy in my sch went bersek and started screaming, crying and punching the wall cos of a girl and his good friend was like on the verge of doing anything to calm him down (so u noe how bad was the situation was...and this was not the first time that it happened...) and the D.M came to pick the two of them to somewhere to calm that guy down.


so drama rite? lol. anyways. i was telling her that we shuld like ppl not only just with our hearts but also with our head. cos if u like someone hu is already taken, surely u dun expect that person to like u back and maybe the other person's bf/gf will come punch u...and other cases which u should let ur head rule over ur heart and not vice versa.


then im having insomia cos im happily thinking of this crush that i dun think im supposed to like...lol. oh wells. i dun think i want to talk abt it anymore...cos i feel that it's super personal liao...and not many ppl noes abt it...think i can use one hand to count how many ppl i've told...and some of my gd friends dun even noe that i like this person...so y should i say here? lol.


getting emo le. =)


sheesh.


uncle sam said the previous post was so EMO.


but hey! isnt't that wad a blog is for? to lash out all of ur 'emo-ness' on ur blog, esp if u can't voice it out in real life? lol.


anyways.as uncle sam and i was on the back bus yest after outreach meeting, we were talking abt some stuff..and then he got off the bus (cos that's not the main point) and this guy soon boarded the bus, sat beside mi like super even-ed out cos we were at the 5-seater back seat and then cos i was rather tired and i was kinda like stoning then my face gave a 'heck la. dun piss mi' look and guess wad?? the guy beside me was sobbing.


not saying that guys crying is wrong but then it just made it that i was the one who made him cry and all. cos this 'daring' other guy looked super uncomfortable seating in between us (cos the other seats were all full except the ones beside us) lol.


and then we had to stop at the same stop. and made ppl hu came after we had boarded the bus even more convinced that we had got sth to do with each other. and then it cleared.cos the guy made a straight turn to the right after he got off the bus and i made a straight turn to the left after i got off the bus too.


lol. that's the end of my story and post.