sighz..

it's not getting any better (if u read my last post, i think u will noe wad i mean...)...wellz..quarrelled with my dad over some stuff...ya...but now on talking terms anyway...

i can't believe wad i saw todae man!!!i saw my senior on my way to my grandmother's hse!!ya..not exactly my senior...but i call him that cos he's the batch before mi ma...as in...he's a year older than mi...u noe wad i mean..

he's cuter than before and he's in TJ (my sis's alma mata...if u dunno wad's alma mata..it's ex-sch kaes?)!!haha...anyway...by the time i finish my Os...he would finish his As too...haha..

the reason to y im mentioning this is cos he was my crush last time..(and maybe now?hehe) and he was also the 1st sec 2 hu came to tok to me during the third week of sch ba...and therefore, he's like one of the 1st ppl i noe in my sch other my ex- classmates and mentors...

and ya...the way we knew was super dumb...and haha..i guess u all will luff when i tell u all the story... =)

yup..maybe i do like him..lolz...dunno la!!


turning noctural soon le...oh wellz...i love the night programmes on tv la...not that bad...tho there's only 2 channels tt are still broadcasting shows...lol

wellz...coming to the end of the year le and yw and yd ended for the yr...but there's always yf camp and yd outings!!!yay!!!

but on a more serious tone...next yr..i will be sec 4 le...sighz...wadeva la...take things as it comes ba...

and another thing...is that this wk i found that my spiritual walk is actually is in a horrible mess...literary...ya...as in...i just like kinda 'got lost' in my walk with God...

Matthew 7:21-23 suddenly struck to mi: Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

and i felt that i have never obeyed Jesus' first and greatest comandment: Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.__Matthew 22:37

like seemingly it seems to mi that all this while, i have, like wad sue lin puts, 'worshiping worship and not God'...i find it hmmm...shamingly true...

as in i noe that God did wonderful things that we as sinners do not deserve and all...but i find it quite hard to worship sth that i cannot see..well...is like i lacking that faith ba...as in im not that ready to cast down all that i have and to leave my comfort zone to go and do stuff that is good in God's eyes...

God is a god who sees what is in our hearts and public declaration, as now i noe, can be just a facade where we all hide our ugly sides of us...and searching my heart...i realised that now im just like any other unsaved person ba...i can't find the presence of the Holy Spirit that Jesus promised in the bible...

seemingly, my heart has hardened to the point that i can't hear anything from God..head knowledge tells mi sth is v wrong, i need to have some action...but what action??

is like my situation is like im stuck on a tiny island (like one of senkaku islands..er...located somewhere in between taiwan, japan and china...if u dunno...) and all around is water and i dun have a boat to get mi out of there...

that feeling's terrible..and i can't wait for camp to come...cos hopefully tt it will teach mi how to set the right tone to start my walk all over again ba... =)


feeling quite unchristianly for the past few daes...

meaning that i can't seem to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in mi for the past few daes...

which means im in serious trouble.argh.

can someone 'enlighten' on how to set my walk straight again?(tho i doubt anyone will tell mi...)

sighz.. =(


hmmm....i realised that i always start my posts with hmmm...maybe i should change...the way i start my posts..

dunno y...been waking up super late...like 2, 3 p.m...ya...broke my record....3.05 p.m..haha..ya...so im like idling ard cos i also dunno wad to do and by the time i wake up, more than half of the dae is gone la...gah...

ya..btw...i got over jung woo sung....hehe..actuallie i only find the character cool onlie..not him..so ya...

I LOVE KOREAN MOVIES MAN!!!haha..i think they are cool man...like all the korean movies i've watched...they are like...cool...esp. taeguki...it gave mi sth i will never forget...cos it was the only show that made mi come out crying like anything lar..and btw...it was my first nc-16 show...haha...so i had a deep impresssion of it..come to think of it, it made mi feel that the nc grade is like...DUMB la..i mean..the show's great man...but it has a little bit more bloody that's it...like they show the guys shooting out their brains cos they cannot tahan the war and stuff...but in all it really shows the brotherhood btw the 2 brothers starring won bin and jang dong gun..

if u wan to noe more abt the movie...check out it's official website...http://www.taegukgi2004.com/ =)


oh man...im in love with this great movie,전사(musa), aka the warrior!!!

oh...i watched the tv premier just now on channel u..and it was a stupid show...but the main character is so....suave...haha..im mad abt him...=)



Story Outline:

In 1375, China was in chaos between Yuan Dynasty and Ming Dynasty. Koryo (an ancient kingdom of Korea then) sent a delegation of many diplomats, soldiers and a silent slave (Jung Woo-sung) to make peace with the new Chinese government. However, this delegation got charged as spies and sent in exile to a remote desert. On the way the group came across a Yuan troop, and the Koryo soldiers managed to survive the battle. They began the journey toward the faraway home country, where they met the Yuan troop again. When they found out the Yuan troop kidnapped a Ming princess (Zhang Ziyi), they decided to rescue her so that they could get a ship to go home. Then the battle began...

haha..i didn't type that....i just copied from channel u's website...ya...and i bet they took it form some other webbie..haha..


still sick...with slight fever...bleahx..

dunno y...im feeling even worse after seeing the doc...had a serious nosebleeding incident at like 5:30 am this morning and diarrhoea too...hope nth wrong with me..lol..or maybe i had too much liquid stuff le....only drank fish soup or porridge for the past few daes la...

oh wellz...did i mention that my family was applying for a new flat?ya..we didn't get it..lol...cos there were only like 10 units for this time's balloting exercise and then we were 4th in line whom didn't get it la...so now my dream of having my own room is crushed...lol...

hmm...off to take my medication...bb!


+edited+
oh wellz...still feeling super sick...so i slept in...which means i didn't attend yd or yw...

boo..julia's leaving in less than 17 hrs' time..oh well..i miss her quite terribly now...lolz...cos i didn't go church ma...dun think will see her off at airport..cos i still feel sick and i dun wan to scare her 2 classmates (if they are still going..) and becos quite alot of yfers are gg too..lol...sigh...

im super sleepy but i can't sleep...wad's wrong with mi...?sigh...recently happen too mani things le ba...

sth just gave mi one more reason to y i shouldn't have a steady...at least for now..or maybe i should stay unattached till i die ba...


"sometimes, women can be so much stronger without a men without them knowing."


bleaghx...i feel super sick....even tho im not really running a a temperature...bla...37.3 degrees..

and i fell off from the sofa just now when i tried to get up from it...stupid la...and i dun even noe if my legs can tahan mi to church...cos at 5 i have small grp meeting..so ya...and i didn't go to sch cos i only slept for 4 hrs and i felt super sick...

im gg to get my ice pack now...and continue sleeping..hehe...pigging out...till 3:30 ba... =)


hmmm...blog cos ppl have been bugging mi...haha...so im posting...hopefully will get the 'blogger syndrome' by the end of the post...hehe...

basically, alot of things happened and i also dun wan to go into all..cos by then it will be super duper long la...so i will just go into the stuff that gives mi a deep impression and the changes in mi...ya.. =)

yep..erm..last sun attended this wedding of my granduncle's son...(which is in short, my uncle's wedding)...then becos my granduncle is the priest that do those 'traditional' chinese funerals..(u get wad i mean?) then got lots of those ppl like selling coffins and wad have u got...then somehow..the performance to entertain guests were like horrific...as is the sense that it is PORN!!!then my mom, being the childhood educator, was concerned with the mindsets of the little ones in the midst of the numerous guests( not sae i tt old la..) and she went to complain to the manager about it lor...then all the kids below 18 had to go out..but i didn't cos my relatives tot i was old enuff and then i wasn't facing directly at the stage and even if i did..i can't see cos i was wearing my contacts which the degree was too low for mi and also i dun want to miss the food la..(and i can pass off as 18...) lol..

and u see all the women and the men were topless and it's super gross...and all the lecherous males (i see a new generation of chee ko pehs rising up to take place of the old ones that dae..) and some women (surpirsingly..) happily clapped when each dance was done..which my mom and i were super disgusted la..

then yesterdae i had small grp leader meeting cos of operation yf (in case u dunno, operation yf is where all the small grps come together and plan for yf for one week..and timmy saes it is to make us aware of how meetings are run and to prepare events cos we are going to be future church leaders and pastor's wives and all la) ...then halfway thru i felt feverish la..then okie..i had high fever when i came home and i could barely stand when i finished chatting with charmaine on msn...jialat sia...

and therefore i had a good reason not to go sch yesterdae and todae..hahaha!!! =)

and i doubt i got the syndrome yet...lol..


hmmm...back again...

finished watching this channelnews asia programme which followed this group of rj students involved in youth expedition programme(yep) to this backward part of india..and guess wad?i saw kin yip in the programme cos he was wearing the 2004 yf camp shirt...lol

but that's not the main point...k?
the main point's that i feel that it's super cool to go to these countries in need and help them in anyway that we can..

but at the same time, this tot has been bothering mi..cos it's kinda bluffing myself...cos like wad i type about...it's cool..not like i sincerly wanna help rite?hmm...

maybe i should embark on those programmes for once and decide where God wants mi..im quite confused now...cos i noe it can be in the spur of a moment or it's God's calling..lol..or maybe im just confusing myself...lol...


okie...woke up one hour ago...so i didn't go sch today...and im still super tired..lol

okie...i slept at 3 in the morning...cos i wanted to watch finish the movie 'the man in the iron mask' starring leonardo dicarprio(did i spell his name correctly??hehe..)..haha he's super cute la(last time)...but now he's fat man..lol...ya lor..

okie..yesterdae's deepavali and went cycling with ben and jose at bishan park...haha...sighz...i hate the way the work at the rental shops...so disorganised and understaffed and lack of bikes? ya...didn't get my bike so i decided to get a pair of roller blades (which made mi super broke and also made mi wish that i had put in more effort to find my roller blades...grrr!!!!!!!!!)

okie...the blades were like super smooth and i had a hard time controlling them(cos my blades weren't that smooth for some reason)and maybe i haven't roller bladed for so long(almost 2 years le?) and therefore i fell 3 times on my butt... -.-

lol...i was laughing at myself for being stupid...ya..and i made it la...bascically the whole of one side of bishan park and without injuries when returning the blades...lol...

seriously i never rollerbladed across the roads before and i did that without falling and at east coast the routes were like straighter and not so slopish...haha...a feat for myself..but i look super stupid with them...should have seen mi in that pathetic state...esp when i fell the last time...cos so many ppl zoomed past mi and were staring at mi..lol

hehe...my butt still hurts..ouch..