haha....good for u to those hu found my blog...haha..

pea-brained....actuallie wanted to put hare-brained...but dun have...maybe i shuld change it to senile after all...lalala....

can't rmb too much stuff...sighz...or maybe...i shuld change back to gillie-craze....but hu noes...it might be gone...when i want it back..haha...lala.....give comments on the add...


grrr....like i care abt wad u do....blearghx...

my conscience is clear and i have done nothing wrong...so i dun care at all wad u say behind my back or say in front of mi...onlie ppl with guilty consciences will do that...

don't u feel ashamed??didn't the Holy Spirit come and prick u??or ur heart has been hardened and u have been so overcomed by sin that it doesn't prick u anymore??

to think that u actuallie call urself a christian...i mean...dun u think that u just tarnished God's name...?

im not going to waste my time and effort hating and doing things that is not of accordance with God...and always....im not wasting my breath....


hmmm....was just saying about blogging in the last post...

like y do ppl flock to other blogs when they have nth to do?(in the sense that the other blogs as in strangers' blogs...ppl they hardly knew...except to wad was being typed on it...)

like it's super lame...and dun tell mi it's a good way of killing time...cos there are so mani things to do other to play com games and read a stranger's blog...like it's dumb...like y not spend the time getting to noe the ppl ard u or ur environment...not that i want to be propaganda-ish...but they are definately more healthy than sitting in front of the com staring into the screen and do dunno wad...like wad i am doing now...if i had the chance...i would definately want to go out...but then...like there's no one hu wans to go...and recently the cold weather has too, dampened my spirits to go out anyway...

and sitting in front of the com for long hrs reading blogs/playing com games do have negative effects...like higher risks to health dieases...like obesity and stoke and sudden death...

so it's definately not a good thing huh??


my broadband sux totally...cos it's lagging somehow...sighz...hmmm...i rather have my old dial-up...even tho this thing can be fast at times...

so might not want to come online...or either that...im online..but away...haha...so when that happens...tag at my board say u miss me and i *might* come online...haha...so bhb...

so many things happened to mi recently but i dun even noe where to start with...hmmm..

oh ya...rmbed that i wanted to post sth abt blogging...will update abt that the next time i come online...cos im off to slp to gain energy to study for my history and social studies tests tml.. =p


hmmm....feeling not very well cos lately having insomia and then plus flu's coming to mi...guess it's the weather ba...

the dumbest thing on earth is that i can injure my four fingers thru the sharp edges of the acryllic workpiece im working on....haha...

feeling blearghx.... =p and also rather sian cos no one's tagging this board except mi....hmmm...how fun...toking to urself thru this method...


wow! guess wad??first thing when i reached into my pockets for fun and i found a ten dollar note in it....haha...

guess i must have left it there the last time i wore this pair of pants ba...praise God for letting mi find it...cos im like super duper broke now...cos having ppl owing mi money for like a mth now...hmm....okie...i shall not mention names here....not a charateristic of a christian...

hmmm...ya...blogging here cos i wan to praise God for providing mi...esp in times of need.. =)


hmmm....just wondering if today was an answer to my prayer...like to confess the like for him...but then it's totally impossible...im not the type of person to do that and i guess i rather regret than to be embarassed if he rejects mi...like i don't take initiative to leave my safe zone to venture out...hmmmm...

like they say....no pain...no gain...so for mi...i guess i rather not take the gain if i have to get the pain....hmmm...sounds cheem...so therefore...forget abt hIM!!!

ya....which i am doing now...hopefully it will turn back into a platonic friendship...but...im thinking...wad if God wans mi to confess??then aren't im disobeying God??hmmm...im confused...God....please give mi a clearer route for mi to take...cos im sorry that i did not have a close relationship with You...therefore i do not understand wad U meant...


wad the heck...okie...anyway...im trying out blog this! so anything wrong....i shall not be held responsible....

okie...the day was quite rubbish...as i was like so unfocused before yf but i managed to get myself focused and then badminton was quite...hmmm...blearghx...cos it was like 2 hr plus of that and with him (okie...not entire time...but got half an hour ba??dunno...)....grrr....

thinking should be quite okie rite??but oh no...i started smacking down the serves passed to me(like 3 or 4 times??) and u noe....kena ticked off for that....like my racquet is the heaviest (to mi cos i tried all 4 racquets...) among the 4 of us and then im the only gal and i played the longest time??

and natural reaction after badminton is that u get hungry and u wan to go for dinner...but no one's moving to go for dinner...and by now u are so hungry that u wan to faint but no one cares...cos there are the yam ppl having dinner there(so that u can kup food from some of them huh?)....so u start to get pissed off which in turn puts u on a pms mood...so u somehow gets hostile...and esp if u wan to get rid of the crush feeling towards a guy u get even more hostile...so therefore u get super duper hostile...

so now u walk off for dinner....but ur feet tells u that they are in pain due to the abrasion caused by playing badminton barefooted...and by now u have gastric pain...but ur friend tells u that her ez-link card has no money...and so being the friend that u are...u walked with her all the way to s-11...u and ur friends reached s-11...and so found a table to settle down....slowly and steadily they arrived....u realised that u have got no appetite...and u ordered 2 cups of ice milo and when u just finished the 2 cups...u suddenly realised that u forgot to feed the cat!!so u rushed back home only to face the cat ignoring u just becos u forgotten to feed her in the morning....

sighz...wad have i done wrong today??


wad an *******....he's irritating mi again..just wish he can get out of the place...somehow...i mean...like when a person's irritating u with their ideas...u can't wish for anything for but get the person out of ur sight...ggrrrrrrr.....and i noe it's bad for the spiritual health...but...can't help abt that...grrr...anyway....im just venting my anger...if not i will just die of supressing feelings...so dun take to heart wad im saying here...

sighz...


hmmm...feels super saturday-ish cos yesterdae was veri friday-ish....(and also becos i overslept this morning...not exactly overslept....i took a nap at 5:50 am this morning...then to my horror...when i woke up...it was already 7:28am...so i didn't go sch...)

finallie i noe how to do paragraphs here...becos i put the html codes lor...u noe...the <> code...ya...so ta da....

just told julia that i MIGHT be going for frisbee/ touch rubgy on sun...cos i feel very active lately...(maybe becos we played touch rubgy during pe and also i quite liked it..and on last sat the 'extreme' badminton game....[im still not as bad as zu kai they all...play for 5 hours...madness la...])

dunno wad to say le...hmmm.....oh....maybe i should give dan an idea wad's a lonnnnnggggggggg post that will keep mi reading for more than a min to read finish huh?? but i guess that he hardly comes here...cos he's busy with his assignments...unlike mi...so bo liao at most times...and also normally i hang ard at his blog...hmmm....haha...and if he wans to get an idea of a reallie long post...i do have one posted yesteday...so he can go read that one huh?? =p


Goodness!!!something's wrong with da skin man...it's like when i click on any links in the 'past' page...it will turn to one of my old skin....not that it's bad...but dun u think it's funnie???one blog with two skins....

anyways...i now think it's cool...haha...so now....just dun get too worried abt it if the layout changes...


I'm forgiven because You were forsaken

I'm accepted, You were condemned

I'm alive and well, Your Spirit lives within me

Because You died and rose again

Chorus:

Amazing love, how can it be

That You my King should die for me

Amazing love, I know it's true

It's my joy to honour You

In all I do, I honour You

Bridge 1:

You are my King

You are my King

Jesus You are my King

Jesus You are my King

Bridge 2 (not in original lyrics):

Amazing love, how can it be

That You, my God should die for me

Amazing love, how can it be

That You, my God should die for me



shucks!!!!my dad is trying to psyco mi into buddism....grrr....and guess wad??he blasphemed Christianity by saying that God was born in jerusalam and look at the situation where all the major unrests are and said that Christ is like Satan becos of those and the conflicts between christians and muslims...and say wad...the buddist temples are more compassionate towards the needy just becos like his friend hu is a christian, was in financial need was shunned away by his church(like hello??being a christian doesn't make us an immortal now...and we also have our own set of problems and fears...like any other person in the world has...) and say that i should believe in buddist teachings cos of china's long history and not christianity cos it's a 'relatively new' religion comparing to christianity and also that as chinese i should believe in that and not go gaga over some 'ang moh' religion...

like wad the heck??he dun believe in Christ than liaddat lar...why must he go to the point till so 'cheap'...go say other religions till it's worthless....y dun i go and scold his dumb ideas abt religion till it's worthless and see how he feels??it's so getting on my nerves...so wad if he's my dad man...it doesn't give him any rights to scold his daughter's choice of religion or anything right in the eyes of God and the laws of Singapore man...

like hello??this is singapore and i believe that we are quite a democratic country and living in a secular world...it means that we are free to choose any religion that we think is the right path so long it is not a demonic cult...and i also respected his idea of not baptising until im 21...but still...it doesn't mean that i do not wish to not baptise lor...and like not going to my grandma's house on sat nights is not cutting off family ties...it's placing piorities...like i always try to place God before everything becoz without Him...im nothing....without Him...there would not even be me in the first place....and in the 1st place...hardly anyone goes there...and i feel so extra there...becos of the generation gap btw my aunts and uncles and of course my grandmother....becos like there's hardly any conversation btw us and also the dialect barrier....although i do understand hokkien...i can only converse and understand in basic...which means that other than formalities and greetings and the vulgarites....i do not noe anything lor...

so moral of the story is that dun anyhow scold ppl when the fault actuallie lies with u and also do not anyhow blasphemy against any religion cos that's how 'holy wars' started out...and ppl will hate u...becos i think i have already turned against my dad....

Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.


yawnz....boy im tired man...

one project down...and it was bad....shooting like a rocket i was....grr....anyway....it's over....betta start revising for maths test tml...and that reminds mi...later got yw rehearsal...sighz...take a nap first...or u wont see mi tml....


hmmm....

tests.projects.tests.projects.test.tests. projects.projects.exams.

when will they ever be done....sighz....never-ending....just finished my script for later's geog presentation...but have yet started on my hw and my preparation of maths test...sighz....when will all these be done...

and not forgetting that stupid canteen duty and the yucky bias blearghx....





nicholas msged mi and was telling mi that im not alone in this world...and that God is always with us...in times of good and bad...

reallie...im touched by him...for coming to tell mi all this...like hardly anyone comes up to mi to do that...if the world does that to each other...then the world would not have so much tragic things happening every day....

ya...feeling much betta now...like a booster to both mentally and spiritually...reallie...like without him...maybe i wouldn't have felt this way....

thank God for letting him come into my life....reallie...for 'conforting' mi when im down...and also as a guide leading back into the light..

'...so let's exalt His name together, forever, i sought the Lord, He heard mi and delivered mi from my fears....'


hmmm.....thinking of wad to post man...suddenly like got nth to say here....cos life's been been average for mi and if i reallie wan to post it's all abt other ppl...and not mi....grr....

just quarrelled with that iddiotic pig of a sister....cos everyday she just refuses to open the door even tho she has her own keys...i hate this type of lazy ppl hu doesn't open their own door...and im not going to open the door the next time she does that again...serious...i had it enuff ever since like when?

sighz....and i realised that im always the extra wan in 4k...actuallie i long knew that i was the extra person in there....so y am complaining abt that...? dunno la...just feel that i shouldn't bother so much abt them...like no one actuallie notices abt mi...so y must i u noe bother??
sighz


hmmmm....i said i will stop thinking abt him...and then guess wad??! i missed him more badly then yesterdae...last week...all in my mind was sch and his name...and today....much to my horror...all in my mind was him...and his cute face...haha...okie dokie...no haha...

ya...and the gals in my class was obsessed with the pe teacher....becos he was u noe...'obscene'...cos he was wearing those flimsy sports shorts and then sumore he lifted up his leg then we could see almost everything inside and then brigitte was commenting that he's sexy...and at the same time perverted....cos he had the very lecherous look and then someone commented that he kept looking at her during pe....

and so the talk among the class is that whether our school pe teachers are sexy....goodness gracious mi la!!

and rite now...im quite sad cos i can't see chinling for the next few daes...cos she flew off to penang cos band sent her and some other members there for some exchange programme..(or sth..) and will be back on thurs...so meanwhile....i have no gossip partner or rather no chit-chat parner during chinese....so will miss the juciest story in the class and the paper conversations.. =(


I said that i will nv cry over any guy....so y are tears welling up in my eyes the moment i think of him??sighz..
wad's wrong with mi man....it's not as if i have nv had a crush or nv fallen in love before...but this time it reallie gave mi a new perspective to love....maybe i gave it too much hope and now as things are starting to fall apart....my feelings undoubtedly have been...u noe...crushed(wondering is it the right word)...so liaddat huh??
haha...which means that i must try to get it over asap...if not...it might ruin mi man...and i've been using too much posts because of him....sighz...and i guess it must have bore u to death huh??


whee!!!mixed feelings rite now....cos of some reallie unexpected turn of things....happie becos things might betta btw us and sad becos things might get worse for us...heehee....
oh wellz...leaving everything into God's hands ba....for His plan is always perfect...and may i able to hear wad He has to say to mi and may i able to do as He planned for mi... =p


wow!!!i never knew that i have posted so much posts man....this is the 155th post le....hmmm....
am i supposed to give a speech on my 155th post or wad??anyway...so far this blog has faithfully recorded all the ups and downs, all the thoughts and complaints that i have for the past few months...it has given me a place to release all my woes and also let many ppl read my thoughts and also in a way to noe more about mi ba....
so i guess it has been beneficial to mi and the ppl around...and i will continue to post morE!!! =)


supposedly in a good mood today...but someone simply had to spoil my dae....y can't that person just give mi like 18 hrs of happiness??y spoil my day and everyone's day....
i really dislike ppl hu sprouts nonsense in front of my friends and then make them cry or wadever...firstly...i dun even like all these nonsense in the first place then sumore wan to infuriate mi by trying to upset the friends around mi...
for those hu noe me well...im like the person hu stands up for my friends and i cannot take it when they kena injustice or anything...and esp. im a short tempered gal...haha....but im controlling it with all my best...(remembering the kester incident in process.... =p)
oh wellz...the people trying to harm my friends...betta watch their backs ba...they will have their just deserts ba...


whee!!!guess wad??he was online just now and then we chatted quite alot of crap...haha...and he was telling mi that i should slp early cos it's bad for health...but then if i slp now then later i can't wake up le...haha...so therefore...i also dunno la...hmmm....im not slping....slp can always make up wan...so i guess i will declare half dead lata... =p and keng till i reach home frm sch afterwards...


i feel like shouting his name all over here...but then...feels like im so desperate for guys like that...esp when the wordings are liaddat...
hmmmm....wad to do??sighz...hopefully the feelings will die down...if not i will go mad at the rate im going right now...and by then i will reallie be an island...and prove the saying 'no man is an island' wrong...haha...=p
so glad that it's friday....


watching a variety show on channel 8 and im super attracted to the spects shop which they introduced la...
so cool!!!they have all sorts of spects there and u could even design ur own spects lor....imagine mi in some exaggerated spects...lolz!!!
anyway...they are imported from europe...and therefore they are not very cheap...and therefore i am definately not going to get a pair....and therefore i can only think abt them....(like the so- and- so.... =p)


haha...so she told him abt the post....haha...
and just as i expected...i kana 'scolding' by him lor....haha....which is currently at the tagbord there...haha....
i very funnie leh....i laugh at everything sia....no wonder i always get into trouble...sighz..better control myself...which is easier said than done...obviously... =p


hmmm.....slacking at home....not exactly slacking....just recharging mentally....realised that im so so so mentally worn out that i can't seem to do anything even tho i so badly want to do...example, going to sch...so now i am recharging!!!


im feeling super duper guilty rite now...partly becos of wad jasmine said...but also can't blame me...that's my natural reaction to that word la....which makes mi even more guilty of my 'crime'.
i laughed at chong mian's brother cos that gurl called him a dude (and he does look like one...i admit...) okie...then my natural reaction kicked in...i started luffing which i immediately felt guilty...
then after that chong mian came to mi and asked mi if i knew if he had a twin brother....is like how i noe lor...i dun have a psychic mind or anything....and i have never seen the twin brother before as far in my memory if it nv fails mi and no one ever told mi that he had a twin till todae la...but then i guessed that the twin was his brother when i saw him todae....but it nv occured to mi that they were twins...
which was the ans to y they had the same expressions (the widening of the eyes...etc.)...haha...
oh...and if i ever talk to the brother in future...i will apologise to him ba....cos it's so embarassing la...and i doubt that they will ever read this post...unless someone tells them ba... =p





(pict is from my archive.... not yesterdae... =p)


tateetadum....back....supposedly to blog yesterdae...but simply too lazy le...haha...
yf was helping at the club house and so we did...like some ppl painting the clubhouse and then the cleaning of the donated stuff and food!!!yum.(anyway...i only had 1/2 of serene's home-made cookies...)
so it was done and every one was slacking ard ...so mi and lyd went to gave out the small grp personal notebooks and get ppl to sign on ben's birthdae card... =p
then while doing the last touches on the card we were talking abt ben's birthdate and then we realised that he had a veri nice birthdate....esp on his 21st birthday...cos it will be 07/07/07 and also on that dae he will be 21 la(07 X 3=21) ...cool rite??yupz....then we were talking abt our birthdays...and ours are not as nice as him wan lor...haha....
about to tell him abt that when he mentioned that he wanted to donate his book to the club house....and i got quite pissed off...cos i spent like so much time wrapping up the books and becos of that, i kena scolded by my mum la...then we gave him the card...and guess wad?? he left it on the rooftop...
like wad a waste of my efforts and the paper/ ink/money for doing so nice the card for him...like i reallie hate ppl hu don't appreciate things that ppl give to them lor...(look like i got lots of hates...) yupz....so to take 'revenge', we decided not tell him of our lil discovery....hmmmmph...
ya...then we went down to do our hw....then everyone tot that we nv go up and help...but then we got lor...just that they came that time we just started on our hw...yupz...and daniel was making fun of my 'retro' sunglasses and we had it taken in his hp....(maybe i shuld ask him to send it to mi...but my phone is not coloured...if u still remember.. =p)
so in all it was quite fun....haha...


P.S next week is the official launch!!!


sighz.....y must it it turn out this way??aren't it peaceful and nice all this while??y make such a mess of all things sia...
can i say that it is all Satan's fault? to mislead ppl frm the good ways to the bad??to break the unity and bonds that as we humans treasure??or is it in God's plan for me to strenghten my faith in Him and also be a good testimony for Him and also to evangelise to my close friends and to save them from the dreaded relavation??
hmmm.....if it was the latter...all i can say that i think i have done badly...hmmm...like i feel that im not performing well....u noe...that horrible feeling....maybe that feeling originated from the time that i have not been going for service then like not in sync wif Him....
ya....feeling this way becos of of my 2 friends who turned their backs against each other becos of wad they 'accused' each other of...but i side with one..cos i feel that the other person is veri despicable...of wad she did and said...and i noe it's true...from my inutition? =p
haha....venting after so long of bottling up my feelings....ya...and may i have peace within mi soon...


back....ya...im boliao now....now actuallie bz/ tired/ hungry/ in pain/ wad have u got here....
ouch....just noe that im actuallie blogging....
feeling happie today...cos im happie today...haha....no la...actuallie is becos for the time being no need to bother about ss project...but i have hw piling up la...haha....ya...so im off!!


so long nv blog le...been bz recently and will be bz for the next few weeks or mths ba....BUT i'll be ard to tag on the board..so happie tagging!!